Last time on Self-Made Motherhood Blog....was a LOOOOOOONG time ago, right??? Well, after two unsuccessful (and rather rushed) at home insem attempts, one unmedicated (and rather rushed/stressful) clinical IUI (done in the US, but planned from HK), and one medicated (insanely stressful, and in my opinion, poorly timed) international IUI in Thailand, I was pretty much done trying until I could 1) get myself back to the US permanently (or just settle somewhere where it's actually legal and logistically possible for a single woman to make science babies), and 2) get re-employed and housed. Yeah...that took a lot longer than I'd originally anticipated.
I landed in New York from HK just before Thanksgiving 2013. I was crashing with my cousin (my only relative in NYC) with my cat until the second week of January. During that time alone, I met a bunch of potential new work families and interviewed at a few nanny placement agencies, but only came up with a handful of crazy new parents, and a few very sane families that just couldn't/wouldn't pay (I'm not deriding any family's financial circumstances, but full-time, individualized in-home care for your infant child/children is a privilege, not a right. Some people really need to get acquainted with the reality of their situations and seriously consider a neighborhood daycare. Just sayin'...). So, sharing her living space with me and my (admittedly kinda crazy, very active, extremely affectionate & attention-hungry, and sometimes destructive) cat was a bit much for my cousin, who was still recovering emotionally from her protracted, very serious illness of the year before. So I air bnb'd with the friend of a friend for a couple of weeks (at a very reasonable rate, I might add). Then I had to leave there and was in limbo for a bit. A very, very good friend offered to take my cat until I could find a place of my own, so I could do air bnb or stay with friends without having to worry about whether or not I could bring him along. So that's what I did. I air bnb'd at some of the most affordable and depressing places that Brooklyn had to offer, and stayed with friends and friends of friends whenever someone had room and compassion enough to let me. During this time, I met some families that I thought might work out...until it came time to discuss salary (which I was very up-front about, so I'm not really sure why they seemed so surprised that I meant what I said before we even met). I did pick up a little cash here and there babysitting for people who were glad I was back in NY, and even did a month-long stint nannying for half a a nanny share (Family A was going back to work and Family B was about to give birth, and I was supposed to nanny for them both, but in the end, Family B didn't want to pay. So I nannied for Family A while we both searched for new solutions). I'm sure that alone kept me from being completely destitute, as savings tend to dwindle a lot faster than you'd like when you have no source of income but are still paying for a place to stay, plus all of your credit card and student loan payments on time. Eventually, I did find a really amazing family to work with and a little over a month after that, I was able to finally move into an apartment. But I was unemployed for about six months, and functionally homeless for closer to eight.
It took some doing to get back to a place, financially, where I could even consider getting back in the baby making business. It's been a little over a year since then, but here I am! On the precipice of a new adventure. Stay tuned....
