Or....I just wanted to enjoy Thanksgiving and not think about the fact that I'm not pregnant (again). Probably the second one.
Anyhoo...Keep moving forward! I'm taking December off (which is actually two cycles because I'm scheduled to ovulate the first week of December, cycle through and ovulate again the week after Christmas). There are two (or three) reasons for this. The first (and absolutely least scientific) is because the Chinese Birth Chart tells me that January is a good month to conceive a girl, but December would be a boy (I'll take whatever I get, but I'd like to start off with a girl). The second is that I've been rocking this game completely uninsured thus far, and it's open enrollment season for that type of thing and I'd like to have some insurance this year moving forward. Also, if I can get in to see an RE at some point and see if there's any real reason I haven't already thought of or addressed why I'm not knocked up already. The third reason is that I'm going to try a progesterone shutdown for the two cycles I'm skipping in December.
What is a Progesterone Shutdown (or NPC Shutdown, as it's also known on the interwebs), you may ask? Well, let me tell you. Basically, there are several reasons why some women may try this method, but for me it's because I have a short luteal phase. As you may or may not know, short luteal phase (the period of time between ovulation and the beginning of a new cycle) may occur if you have a progesterone deficiency. I have long suspected this to be the case for myself because 1) I have a shorter than average luteal phase (mine is typically 10-11 days, usually 11. The average, and shortest necessary to allow pregnancy implantation is 12 days), and 2) the only time my LP was longer was when I did my medicated IUI cycle in Thailand and was on progesterone suppositories afterward, suggesting that the only thing keeping my cycle from lengthening (that hadn't already been addressed by my acupuncturist) is a low progesterone level. Now that you know that progesterone can lengthen LP at the right dosage, you should also know that it is generally prescribed post-AI to begin the day after confirmed ovulation. The reason it is not given before that time is because high progesterone levels can impede, delay, or stop ovulation altogether (depending on the dosage). That's where the "shutdown" comes in. You can prevent/stop ovulation for 2-4 cycles using Natural Progesterone Cream from days 5-25 of your cycle. Begin applying the cream twice daily on or around CD5 of your cycle. Stop using the cream on CD25 and allow your period to come to start a new cycle (it may happen within 1-4 days after stopping progesterone). Cycle as usual until CD5 of the new cycle, and repeat. The idea is that you halt ovulation for 2-4 cycles (and use the time off from active ttc to detox your body and set up a healthier diet and exercise regimen), and then after the "shutdown", you stop using the progesterone and cycle as usual, checking for normal ovulation, and when you do ovulate, it's a super good quality egg because you've been holding it back and nourishing it for however many cycles. Many women have gotten pregnant on the cycle directly following a shutdown in this way.
Now, if you read my previous post, you know that I was using progesterone cream after my most recent home insem attempt in the hopes of lengthening my LP and giving anything that may have gotten fertilized enough time to implant. BUT, I started spotting on the day when my period would have been due anyway, and started bleeding full-on the next morning. So, I think I wasn't using a high enough dosage (I was using about half of what the dosage was with the prescribed progesterone suppositories I'd used after my medicated cycle). The shutdown begins now...I'm at CD7 and just decided to go ahead with the shutdown today, and I'm using a slightly higher dose. I'll be checking to see if thee's any sign of ovulation in about five days (I typically ovulate on CD13) and hopefully, there won't be. If my cycle lasts long enough for me to still be applying the cream on CD25, I will. Otherwise, I'll start again from next cycle at the end of December and up the dosage a little more (Because of my size, I already need a slightly higher than average dosage). Continue using it until CD25 and wait to see when the January cycle begins and get ready to order more spermcicles for home insem on that one.
So that's all the news for now...Stay tuned...
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Oh No She Didn't!......*Pssst! Actually, Yes I Did.
Previously on Self-Made Motherhood Blog....Our hero discovered that she was not knocked up and the world continued spinning (somewhat out of control, but more on that in a sec).
And here we are at that bridge! I already posted this to my TTC forums, so I'm just gonna cut and paste from there. Here's how it went down:
Uncharacteristically, I think I actually felt ovulation twinges in my left side in the afternoon while I was out & about. The only other time I've ever felt my ovaries doing anything at all was my one & only medicated IUI cycle in Thailand in 2012. I did another set of OPK's around 3pm & came up with another smiley face on the digital & very dark test line on the midstream.
Got home from work & did some cleaning. Set out all my insem gear & readied my work area to make sure I had everything i needed within arm's reach. Then took a shower. Watched a movie & had something to eat. Did another set of OPK's at 11:55pm. Negative on the digital/still very dark test line on the midstream, so I inferred that my surge had recently ended, but my LH levels were still pretty high. So either just ovulated or right about to.
I thawed the sample & kept it in my bra under my boob (I'm top heavy, so it's a good place to keep something at body temperature). Opened the catheter package just a little bit didn't remove it (to keep it sterile) & attached the syringe to the catheter while keeping the catheter in its package. Double checked I had everything I needed, then did a couple of pumps of the syringe. Drew up 1cc of air into the syringe then removed the catheter from the package & slowly drew up the swimmers from the vial. I placed a couple of drops onto my ferning/saliva microscope lens, then put the catheter length back into its package & held it under my boob (bra off). Looked at the sample on the microscope &, after a little focusing, saw my swimmers swimming (!!!!!!). Magnification is not the greatest & it's a cell phone pic, but it's still pretty cool. SEE????>>>>>>
I laid back, careful not to disturb the syringe under my boob, and inserted the Collins speculum which I'd lubed with Pre-Seed. I actually use it sideways so that the bills open up & down like any other speculum. Turned the screw to start opening it. Used a hand mirror & my cell phone flashlight to see what was what. Took a little repositioning to get a good view of my cervix. There was a LOT of mucous. I used a few long handled cotton swabs to clear some mucous out so I could see the os clearly. It was wide open & looked like a smiley face (I took a photo of that too, but I think we've reached our mutual threshold of overshare for one post). Looking in the mirror, I guided the catheter toward my cervix. This was the do I or don't I point (Oh no she didn't!). I decided to go for it (OH YES SHE DID!). I inserted the tip of the catheter into the os & waited a few seconds to see if I felt any pain or discomfort. Nothing. I inserted it a little farther, then a little farther (probably about 4cm in). Then I very slowly pushed down on the plunger over the course of about a minute, stopping when the plunger got to the 1cc mark (so i knew all the sample was out, but i wasn't pushing any air into my uterus). I waited another minute or so before slowly removing the catheter. Saw a tiny bit of fluid escape the os (not sure if it was sperm or cervical mucous). Tilted my hips up & turned the screw to close the speculum, then slowly removed that. Stayed with my knees up for about 20-30 minutes, then went to the bedroom to lie down & orgasm (because what could it hurt?). Then I actually fell asleep for a few hours. Woke up & orgasmed again figuring I was still in my window of opportunity & the uterine contractions might help any lazy swimmers get to where they needed to be. Then went back out to the living room to clear everything up, & went back to bed for a little bit before my proper wake up time for work.
That all happened on Tuesday (as predicted). Here's where it gets weird(er). The next day, I came home late after karaoke league and OPK'd again. I was expecting resounding negatives all around. Instead, I got a negative on the digital, indicating that my LH surge was definitely, definitely over. BUT, I got this on the midstream>>>>>>> That's not even ambiguous. The test line is definitely not even slightly lighter. But the digital pulled up a negative, so I marked it down as a negative. It made me think that maybe something did get fertilized & was maybe already throwing out HCG hormones which would give a false positive on a midstream OPK, but not fool a digital OPK. If that's the case, then the mission now is to coax my uterus into delaying the start of my period long enough for a fertilized something to stick and stay stuck for nine months or so. To that end, 24 hours after insem, I started applying progesterone cream. This one>>>
I still have a bottle of the Progestelle oil that I used the last time around, but the more I read reviews on that, the more I am convinced that I was completely swindled on that stuff. If it actually contained any progesterone at all, my next cycle would have at least been a day or two late...Anyway, people TTC and trying to do as much on their own as possible recommend this cream, and it's from a brand I trust already, so I'm not worried about it being shady or misrepresented. I'm applying about 80mg per day (40mg, twice a day). Hoping it helps bulk up my lining and delay my period long enough for implantation to happen.
Fingers crossed, right? Anyway, I'm now at 5DPO (five days into my two-week wait). I'm good for now, but I know I'll be fighting the urge to test in the few days before my period would normally be expected about 6 days from now. I will fight the urge really hard. But I make no promises. Stay tuned...
Right, so after my last attempt at Getting Knocked Up: The Home Game in late May, I had to move out of my apartment by the end of June. My job had moved to New Jersey and the commute was killing me. But also, my lease was up and I still hadn't found the mythical NYC apartment somewhere in/near/commutable to Midtown Manhattan that would allow me to work in New Jersey while still remaining a New Yorker. So I ended up moving in with my work family. Their new house was big sized and I had the third floor to myself. I had resigned myself to looking for an apartment in Jersey somewhere commutable to work. This took me for friggin' ever. I came in contact with SO many shady sheisties, y'all! Just when I thought I'd found the perfect place, it turned out that they wouldn't even process my application without putting down a one month deposit....without signing anything. Without even seeing a person. Just leave your application and your check for this ridiculous amount of money in the building super's mailbox which anyone can access and we'll get back to you. Um...nahhhh. I'm good.
Anyway, about three months later I really did find the perfect place. And, even though I wanted to hate it for not being Brooklyn, I'm getting more space than I've had in years for less than I've ever paid for a one-bedroom in my adult life. Plus, it has 24hr front desk staff, so I will never have to worry about being home to sign for packages. Which brings us up to the now....
Just before my all-access info subscription ran out at Manhattan Cryobank, I zeroed in on a new donor. Irony of ironies, his height is listed as "below 5'7""...so it looks like my mutant tallness (I'm 5'6", but taller than everyone on my mother's side of the family, including my brother and uncles) will likely not be passed down to the next generation. But on every other front, he's a good match in terms of what I'm looking for in a donor. When I'd first found him back in July (while I was still living at work), he had a decent supply of available samples. When I checked back in September, his supply was "medium". When it finally came time to put in the order for my November cycle, he only had IUI samples available. Someone on one of my TTC forums had gotten pregnant twice doing home vaginal insems with IUI sperm, so I didn't worry about it. I checked all of my other supplies and got ready to get down.
Anyway, about three months later I really did find the perfect place. And, even though I wanted to hate it for not being Brooklyn, I'm getting more space than I've had in years for less than I've ever paid for a one-bedroom in my adult life. Plus, it has 24hr front desk staff, so I will never have to worry about being home to sign for packages. Which brings us up to the now....
Just before my all-access info subscription ran out at Manhattan Cryobank, I zeroed in on a new donor. Irony of ironies, his height is listed as "below 5'7""...so it looks like my mutant tallness (I'm 5'6", but taller than everyone on my mother's side of the family, including my brother and uncles) will likely not be passed down to the next generation. But on every other front, he's a good match in terms of what I'm looking for in a donor. When I'd first found him back in July (while I was still living at work), he had a decent supply of available samples. When I checked back in September, his supply was "medium". When it finally came time to put in the order for my November cycle, he only had IUI samples available. Someone on one of my TTC forums had gotten pregnant twice doing home vaginal insems with IUI sperm, so I didn't worry about it. I checked all of my other supplies and got ready to get down.
For some reason, I got super obsessed with the idea of seeing my cervix (don't ask). And then I thought that since I was going to be using IUI sperm instead of ICI sperm, maybe I should know exactly how my cervix was sitting so that I could get it as close as humanly possible to where it needed to go. So I went on a speculum hunt (as one does). Now, I've actually tried this before with standard disposable speculums. And it was extremely painful. The open had exactly one setting and it "clicked" into place. OUCH! So I wondered if I could find something else on the internets that would be more comfortable. And I did! It's called a Collins speculum.
 |
| Collins Speculum |
Not disposable, so I had to sterilize it before and after use. It's meant to open side to side instead of up and down (but I found it more comfortable to insert it sideways and open it up & down like any other speculum), and it opens with a screw instead of clicking into place, so I can open it as little or as much is comfortable for me. It's pretty dope, as speculums go. I didn't want to freak my body out too much on the day of, so I practiced twice in the week or so before I was expecting to ovulate to make sure I knew what to expect when the time came.
Somewhere along the way, it crossed my mind that I might be able to do an actual IUI by myself at home. I mean, I could see my cervix. I could see the opening. I've got the stuff. Everything is sterile. Maybe...? Of course, everything I've ever read EVER about doing home insemination says that this should never, ever, ever, ever, EEEEEVER be attempted. Because you will get an infection and die. I mean not really, but really that's pretty much what everything I've ever read has said. I googled "IUI at home" anyway, and was surprised to find a couple of very good resources (here and there) from women who had successfully done it themselves ("successfully" meaning that they didn't get an infection and die, AND they got pregnant and had living babies). I was considering it more seriously...
Anyhoo...I was expecting to ovulate on a Tuesday, so I had to put in the spermcicle order the week before because they only ship/deliver Monday to Friday. Put in the order on the previous Wednesday with 2-day shipping to receive it by Friday (and I came home to my swanky new apartment building with 24hr front desk staff to find it had, in fact, been delivered while I was at work. Cheers!). I checked inside to make sure they sent the right one (They did), closed it back up and left it alone for the next few days.
I started OPK testing over the weekend, then kicked the testing into high gear on Monday. I tested at 10am and 4:20pm and pulled up negatives. I decided to test one more time before leaving work and pulled up a positive at 6:50pm. Aiming to do the insem as close to 30 hours post-first OPK+, I planned it for between 12:30-1am the next night. I hadn't made the decision yet on whether or not to go all the way with the IUI. I wanted to see what I was working with and how I was feeling when I got to that bridge.
 |
| Box-o-Sperm |
I started OPK testing over the weekend, then kicked the testing into high gear on Monday. I tested at 10am and 4:20pm and pulled up negatives. I decided to test one more time before leaving work and pulled up a positive at 6:50pm. Aiming to do the insem as close to 30 hours post-first OPK+, I planned it for between 12:30-1am the next night. I hadn't made the decision yet on whether or not to go all the way with the IUI. I wanted to see what I was working with and how I was feeling when I got to that bridge.
 |
| The Work Station Alcohol. Sterilized syringe & catheter. Ferning microscope. Long cotton swabs. PreSeed lube for the speculum. Sterilized Collins speculum. Gloves. Mirror. |
Uncharacteristically, I think I actually felt ovulation twinges in my left side in the afternoon while I was out & about. The only other time I've ever felt my ovaries doing anything at all was my one & only medicated IUI cycle in Thailand in 2012. I did another set of OPK's around 3pm & came up with another smiley face on the digital & very dark test line on the midstream.
Got home from work & did some cleaning. Set out all my insem gear & readied my work area to make sure I had everything i needed within arm's reach. Then took a shower. Watched a movie & had something to eat. Did another set of OPK's at 11:55pm. Negative on the digital/still very dark test line on the midstream, so I inferred that my surge had recently ended, but my LH levels were still pretty high. So either just ovulated or right about to.
 |
| My thawed swimmers on the ferning microscope....Need a better view? |
 |
| My thawed swimmers: The Close-Up! See all the little black dots? Those are swimming sperm! I could actually see all their little tails & see them swimming! |
I laid back, careful not to disturb the syringe under my boob, and inserted the Collins speculum which I'd lubed with Pre-Seed. I actually use it sideways so that the bills open up & down like any other speculum. Turned the screw to start opening it. Used a hand mirror & my cell phone flashlight to see what was what. Took a little repositioning to get a good view of my cervix. There was a LOT of mucous. I used a few long handled cotton swabs to clear some mucous out so I could see the os clearly. It was wide open & looked like a smiley face (I took a photo of that too, but I think we've reached our mutual threshold of overshare for one post). Looking in the mirror, I guided the catheter toward my cervix. This was the do I or don't I point (Oh no she didn't!). I decided to go for it (OH YES SHE DID!). I inserted the tip of the catheter into the os & waited a few seconds to see if I felt any pain or discomfort. Nothing. I inserted it a little farther, then a little farther (probably about 4cm in). Then I very slowly pushed down on the plunger over the course of about a minute, stopping when the plunger got to the 1cc mark (so i knew all the sample was out, but i wasn't pushing any air into my uterus). I waited another minute or so before slowly removing the catheter. Saw a tiny bit of fluid escape the os (not sure if it was sperm or cervical mucous). Tilted my hips up & turned the screw to close the speculum, then slowly removed that. Stayed with my knees up for about 20-30 minutes, then went to the bedroom to lie down & orgasm (because what could it hurt?). Then I actually fell asleep for a few hours. Woke up & orgasmed again figuring I was still in my window of opportunity & the uterine contractions might help any lazy swimmers get to where they needed to be. Then went back out to the living room to clear everything up, & went back to bed for a little bit before my proper wake up time for work.
 |
| Weird Super Positive OPK 24hrs Post-IUI/Ovulation |
I still have a bottle of the Progestelle oil that I used the last time around, but the more I read reviews on that, the more I am convinced that I was completely swindled on that stuff. If it actually contained any progesterone at all, my next cycle would have at least been a day or two late...Anyway, people TTC and trying to do as much on their own as possible recommend this cream, and it's from a brand I trust already, so I'm not worried about it being shady or misrepresented. I'm applying about 80mg per day (40mg, twice a day). Hoping it helps bulk up my lining and delay my period long enough for implantation to happen.
Fingers crossed, right? Anyway, I'm now at 5DPO (five days into my two-week wait). I'm good for now, but I know I'll be fighting the urge to test in the few days before my period would normally be expected about 6 days from now. I will fight the urge really hard. But I make no promises. Stay tuned...
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Not Surprising, But Also Not Quite As Anticipated Either...
Here's the thing....I was about to post about my latest attempt at getting knocked up when I noticed this entry. But the only thing about it that was saved was the title. So I'm not really sure what I was gonna say except that I did not get pregnant....but for some reason things unfolded in a way I had not previously anticipated (hence the title).
But, um...yeah, I got nothin'. Jump to the next episode...
Stay tuned....
But, um...yeah, I got nothin'. Jump to the next episode...
Stay tuned....
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Version 6.0: Loading....
Previously on Self- made Motherhood Blog....our heroine discovered that she was not, in fact, knocked up (despite some weird physical stuff and what looked like her first possible implantation dip ever). And so our intrepid mother-in-waiting endeavored to try in her next cycle.
Which brings us to RIGHT NOW! Welcome to the next cycle! I know what you're thinking: "Wow! That was fast!" And you're not wrong. It was fast. Likely due in no small part to my short cycle and clearly inadequate luteal phase which seem to be intent on flushing out anything that may be contemplating sticking around my uterus for nine and a half months or so. Not cool, guys! Not. Cool.
In an effort to circumvent (or really, more accurately, supersede) my uterine propensity for short luteal phasiness, I bought this stuff >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
If I were doing an in-clinic IUI, they'd likely prescribe me progesterone in some form (probably suppositories, like when I did the IUI in Thailand) to help lengthen my LP long enough for some implanting to take place and get good and stuck before my period could come and ruin it all. So, I figured I should probably get in on that this time around. Now, when I was on the suppositories after my Thai IUI, it lengthened my cycle by probably ten days or more, even though I knew I wasn't pregnant (which was even more frustrating) because I was (and still remain) certain that the clinic's protocol was too strict and the timing was a bit off in my case. And since I'm sure my timing on the last one was spot on, but my naturally short LP kept anything from happening, I want to give myself (and my PFC) any little extra chance that I can. We'll see...
I got my first positive OPK for this cycle in the wee hours of CD12. On CD11, I'd actually tested at 10pm with a standard mid-stream and a Clearblue digital and gotten a negative. But then I was heading to bed around 1am, and I just felt like I should check just in case, and that's when I got the smiley face! Counting out about 20 hours from there, I figured somewhere around 9-11pm on CD12 would be an ideal first insem slot. CD12 was the Tuesday after the Memorial Day long weekend, so I came straight home from work and started to prep myself for the next day (pre-chop my breakfast smoothie ingredients, water the plants, take a shower) and then prep everything for the insem (slow-thaw the sample, get the syringe & catheter ready, do another set of OPK's to confirm I was still LH surging, place the Instead cup near the bed). I also had to prep things (except for thawing the sample) for the 2nd insem because I planned to do it early in the morning before going in to work.
I did Insem 6.1 at 9pm on CD12 (followed all the same steps as before), put in the Instead cup right after, and did the "extra step" (*nudge-nudge*wink-wink*). Then I watched The Lizzie Borden Chronicles and fell asleep. The next morning, I actually got out of bed when my alarm went off at 5:45am and went out to the kitchen to prep the second sample. While it was in it's tepid thawing bath, I brushed my teeth & washed my face, and removed the Instead cup from the previous night's insem. I also did another round of OPK's and still came up with the smiley face. All systems go! Got the swimmers in the syringe and checked a drop on the ovulation microscope t make sure everyone was still alive and swimming (Check!), and retired to the bedroom for Insem 6.2 at 6:25am on CD13. Put in the instead cup directly after and did the "extra step", then relaxed for about 20 minutes until I had to get ready to head out for work. I went to work and did all the usual things.
Because I'd gotten my first OPK+ at such a late/early hour on CD12, I was a little nervous that I may have done the insems too early or too late (i.e. What if I always LH surge at 1am, but don't know it because I'm asleep and don't find out until I wake up and test in the morning???). So I did another round of OPK's at 3:30pm. Unfortunately, I peed on the Clearblue digital before realizing that I'd not pushed the test stick all the way in, so that one was inconclusive; but the standard midstream OPK was still looking like two equal darkness lines to me. I ran another Clearblue digi at 5pm though, and it came up negative, so my surge was starting to wane. This gave me some confidence because it means that ovulation had likely happened in the morning and now things were winding down. I removed the Instead cup at 6pm, and left work and carried on with my evening as usual. I did another midstream test around 11pm just to see how much lighter the test line was getting. It was definitely a noticeable difference, so I'm still feeling good about the timing.
And now we wait! I start using the progesterone oil tomorrow (CD14), twice a day. We'll see if it helps. I also found the moxibustion set from my HK acupuncturist and I'm going to start doing that nightly as well as it's supposed to help increase bloodflow to the abdomen (couldn't hurt). Fingers crossed, right?
Stay tuned...
Which brings us to RIGHT NOW! Welcome to the next cycle! I know what you're thinking: "Wow! That was fast!" And you're not wrong. It was fast. Likely due in no small part to my short cycle and clearly inadequate luteal phase which seem to be intent on flushing out anything that may be contemplating sticking around my uterus for nine and a half months or so. Not cool, guys! Not. Cool.
 |
Progestelle - Progesterone suspended
in coconut oil.
|
If I were doing an in-clinic IUI, they'd likely prescribe me progesterone in some form (probably suppositories, like when I did the IUI in Thailand) to help lengthen my LP long enough for some implanting to take place and get good and stuck before my period could come and ruin it all. So, I figured I should probably get in on that this time around. Now, when I was on the suppositories after my Thai IUI, it lengthened my cycle by probably ten days or more, even though I knew I wasn't pregnant (which was even more frustrating) because I was (and still remain) certain that the clinic's protocol was too strict and the timing was a bit off in my case. And since I'm sure my timing on the last one was spot on, but my naturally short LP kept anything from happening, I want to give myself (and my PFC) any little extra chance that I can. We'll see...
I got my first positive OPK for this cycle in the wee hours of CD12. On CD11, I'd actually tested at 10pm with a standard mid-stream and a Clearblue digital and gotten a negative. But then I was heading to bed around 1am, and I just felt like I should check just in case, and that's when I got the smiley face! Counting out about 20 hours from there, I figured somewhere around 9-11pm on CD12 would be an ideal first insem slot. CD12 was the Tuesday after the Memorial Day long weekend, so I came straight home from work and started to prep myself for the next day (pre-chop my breakfast smoothie ingredients, water the plants, take a shower) and then prep everything for the insem (slow-thaw the sample, get the syringe & catheter ready, do another set of OPK's to confirm I was still LH surging, place the Instead cup near the bed). I also had to prep things (except for thawing the sample) for the 2nd insem because I planned to do it early in the morning before going in to work.
I did Insem 6.1 at 9pm on CD12 (followed all the same steps as before), put in the Instead cup right after, and did the "extra step" (*nudge-nudge*wink-wink*). Then I watched The Lizzie Borden Chronicles and fell asleep. The next morning, I actually got out of bed when my alarm went off at 5:45am and went out to the kitchen to prep the second sample. While it was in it's tepid thawing bath, I brushed my teeth & washed my face, and removed the Instead cup from the previous night's insem. I also did another round of OPK's and still came up with the smiley face. All systems go! Got the swimmers in the syringe and checked a drop on the ovulation microscope t make sure everyone was still alive and swimming (Check!), and retired to the bedroom for Insem 6.2 at 6:25am on CD13. Put in the instead cup directly after and did the "extra step", then relaxed for about 20 minutes until I had to get ready to head out for work. I went to work and did all the usual things.
Because I'd gotten my first OPK+ at such a late/early hour on CD12, I was a little nervous that I may have done the insems too early or too late (i.e. What if I always LH surge at 1am, but don't know it because I'm asleep and don't find out until I wake up and test in the morning???). So I did another round of OPK's at 3:30pm. Unfortunately, I peed on the Clearblue digital before realizing that I'd not pushed the test stick all the way in, so that one was inconclusive; but the standard midstream OPK was still looking like two equal darkness lines to me. I ran another Clearblue digi at 5pm though, and it came up negative, so my surge was starting to wane. This gave me some confidence because it means that ovulation had likely happened in the morning and now things were winding down. I removed the Instead cup at 6pm, and left work and carried on with my evening as usual. I did another midstream test around 11pm just to see how much lighter the test line was getting. It was definitely a noticeable difference, so I'm still feeling good about the timing.
And now we wait! I start using the progesterone oil tomorrow (CD14), twice a day. We'll see if it helps. I also found the moxibustion set from my HK acupuncturist and I'm going to start doing that nightly as well as it's supposed to help increase bloodflow to the abdomen (couldn't hurt). Fingers crossed, right?
Stay tuned...
Monday, May 18, 2015
The Results Are In....
Um....so, yeah...I'm not pregnant. *sigh* I was supposed to test on Saturday, May 16th, but my period came all Swiss precision-like on Friday the 15th. I was actually really hopeful this time around because I was feeling a little crappy and my boobs were HUGE. But also because my temperature dipped at 8 & 9DPO and then went back up again, so I thought it could have possibly been an implantation dip. Maybe it was, but my uterus is such a stickler for its schedule, it just wouldn't let anything stick (which is an odd paradox for someone who is habitually late for pretty much everything).
Anyhoo, I debated on whether or not to go for it again with the next cycle (which would be at the end of May) or wait for the June cycle. I decided to jump right back in while my body still halfway remembers what we're trying to accomplish. Plus, I'll be hardcore apartment hunting in June and can't afford to stress out over that and getting knocked up. If it doesn't work out at the end of May, I'll be on a bit of a longer break again while I re-group financially, and also get settled in a new apartment (again....urrrgggghhh!). But hopefully, not too long of a break. Hopefully, I won't need another go after May!!!
Stay tuned...
Anyhoo, I debated on whether or not to go for it again with the next cycle (which would be at the end of May) or wait for the June cycle. I decided to jump right back in while my body still halfway remembers what we're trying to accomplish. Plus, I'll be hardcore apartment hunting in June and can't afford to stress out over that and getting knocked up. If it doesn't work out at the end of May, I'll be on a bit of a longer break again while I re-group financially, and also get settled in a new apartment (again....urrrgggghhh!). But hopefully, not too long of a break. Hopefully, I won't need another go after May!!!
Stay tuned...
Monday, May 11, 2015
Once Again, It's (still) ON!!!!
(continued from previous post)
Right! So, I got my first positive digital OPK smiley face around 10am on Saturday, which was CD12.
I spent most of the day arguing with myself over whether or not to do one insem that night or wait until the next morning. Honestly, if I'd had three vials, I probably would have, but I didn't want to waste a chance by going for it too early and having the swimmers die off before an egg was even released. Naturally, this made sleeping a bit Night Before Christmas-ish. I was just so excited! A friend from one of my message boards conceived both of her children at home with IUI vials (even though it was just an intravaginal insem done by herself), and she'd conceived her first child by doing the insems at something like 20 & 30 hours after her first OPK+, and her second with just one insem at about 30 hours after the first OPK+. I figured I'd follow her lead.
I got up a little after 6am and started getting things ready. Brushed my teeth, got a glass of water & a cup of tea ready to set on my station next to the bed. Did another round of OPK's (because my obsessive nature compelled me to do so). Still coming up with a smiley face on the digital. Moving ahead with confidence that I made the right decision about the timing. I pulled on my protective gear and extricated the ICI vial from the cryotank. Following the thawing instructions (see inset), I let it sit for a moment until it was warm enough to touch with my bare hand. Then I placed the vial in one finger of a pair of sterile gloves and put in a cup of tepid water until the sample within was fully liquified.
Then I gently agitated the vial. I connected the catheter to the syringe and pumped it a couple of times to break the seal, then I inserted the catheter all the way to the bottom of the vial and drew up the specimen (swimmers).
After drawing all of the sample into the syringe/catheter, I pressed down on the plunger (slowly) to expel any excess air. While doing this, I also expelled a small droplet onto an ovulation microscope.
The magnification is not the greatest, but it's good enough that you can ACTUALLY SEE THE TEENY TINY SPERM SWIMMING!!! From a strictly nerd perspective, this is just awesome and cool. From an at-home baby making perspective, it's comforting to know that I haven't completely screwed up the thawing process and the sperm is still alive (which is also awesome and cool). Then I hurried off to my bedroom to lie down and inseminate. For the first insem, I used a vial of ICI prepared sperm and guided the catheter up to (but not into) my cervix and pressed the plunger very slowly. Then I inserted and Instead cup. It works like a diaphragm and caps around the cervix. In this case, instead of keeping sperm out to prevent pregnancy, it keeps the sperm already released close to the cervix in an effort to assist a pregnancy. After that, I lay in bed for a couple of hours and fell asleep. When I woke up, I went out to brunch with my houseguest and walked around the city.
I wanted to time my inseminations at about 20 & 30 hours after the first positive OPK. So I headed home early that evening to prepare and do it all again. For the second insem, repeated all the same steps, but used a vial of IUI prepared sperm. It's a smaller sample (.5ml instead of 1ml), but it's also more concentrated and has had all of the seminal fluid removed, leaving only the sperm itself. It was evening, so I stayed in bed for a while afterwards. It was my houseguest's first weekend in New York, so I went back out after a while to meet her for dinner. I had a LOT of cramping at dinner, but I think it was just gas (really weird gas that I've not experienced before).
On to the Two-Week Wait!
Stay tuned...
Right! So, I got my first positive digital OPK smiley face around 10am on Saturday, which was CD12.
 |
| Regular Midstream OPK & Digital OPK CD12 at 10am |
 |
| Midstream & Digital OPK's on CD13 before the first insem...Still on surge! |
I got up a little after 6am and started getting things ready. Brushed my teeth, got a glass of water & a cup of tea ready to set on my station next to the bed. Did another round of OPK's (because my obsessive nature compelled me to do so). Still coming up with a smiley face on the digital. Moving ahead with confidence that I made the right decision about the timing. I pulled on my protective gear and extricated the ICI vial from the cryotank. Following the thawing instructions (see inset), I let it sit for a moment until it was warm enough to touch with my bare hand. Then I placed the vial in one finger of a pair of sterile gloves and put in a cup of tepid water until the sample within was fully liquified. |
| ICI vial getting ready for its bath |
 |
| Fully liquified 1ml ICI vial - hoping for so much from so little |
 |
| Place the droplet onto the lens and then replace the lens onto the scope, turn on the light, and focus until you can see the tiny swimmers. |
I wanted to time my inseminations at about 20 & 30 hours after the first positive OPK. So I headed home early that evening to prepare and do it all again. For the second insem, repeated all the same steps, but used a vial of IUI prepared sperm. It's a smaller sample (.5ml instead of 1ml), but it's also more concentrated and has had all of the seminal fluid removed, leaving only the sperm itself. It was evening, so I stayed in bed for a while afterwards. It was my houseguest's first weekend in New York, so I went back out after a while to meet her for dinner. I had a LOT of cramping at dinner, but I think it was just gas (really weird gas that I've not experienced before).
On to the Two-Week Wait!
Stay tuned...
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Once Again, It's ON!!!!!
Edit: This post was turning out WAY longer than I had anticipated, so I've broken it up into two parts so that we can take a breather halfway through and not just quite reading it altogether because one post is just entirely too damn long. Okay? Okay! Read on!
So...Insem 5.1 & 5.2. Honestly, it felt a lot like 1.0, but with a few caveats. I mean, I've already been through the process of donor searching, selection, ordering, and shipping before; but never with this Bank and it's a new donor, so of course it's all butterflies and "I hope he's the one". I've already done the whole thawing and preparation process, but not since summer of 2011. It feels like forever ago. I've already done the home insemination process before, but I tried a few new things this time.
Basically, same-same but different.
So, this time around, I used Manhattan Cryobank. There were a couple of reasons for this switch. The first and foremost being that Pacific Reproductive Services has increased their fees for swimmers incrementally (and exponentially) since I began this journey four or five years ago. MCB, on the other hand, still has those same rates for Open Identity swimmers, so financially it makes more sense. PRS used to boast the "most open identity donors in the industry" (or something like that), but with Open ID being increasingly in demand from prospective parents, a lot more banks are presenting that option. I also chose PRS, originally, because they seemed to have a wider selection of donors of color. While I think that still holds true for them, other banks now also seem to have a (slightly wider) selection, so in that arena, cost was still the mitigating factor. I did also consider European Sperm Bank USA (their cost per vial is a little higher than MCB, but they don't make you put down a gazillion dollar deposit on the cryotank that the spermcicles are shipped in - most places, PRS included, require an $800 deposit). On the other hand, I'd still have been paying for long distance shipping costs as well. Plus, I found the donor that I really liked at MCB. I'm sure if I'd really wanted a EuroUSA donor, the cost difference is narrow enough that I'm sure I'd just suck it up and make it work. Oh, wait! There was a time when I was seriously considering EuroUSA over MCB. EuroUSA is ONLY open-identity donors AND when you're browsing the catalogue, you can get a 3-month, all-access subscription for $50. MCB doesn't advertise any such deal, so I thought I'd have to pay per item (full medical history, childhood photo, audio interview, etc...) for each donor I was interested in learning more about. In the end, I thought, "What the hell?!" and I decided to register online with MCB just in case there might be a donor that really stood out for me. Turns out that MCB has the same 3-month, all-access subscription deal, but they don't advertise it anywhere on their site that I ever saw. It popped up once I registered though. I think that's what changed the game for me (and led me to my good-looking, really swell guy of a donor).
Moving on...I looked through a bunch of profiles at MCB and came up with a top 5. Turns out that the donor I liked best also had a really high supply of vials in stock (both ICI and IUI). My second choice was also a great guy (as far as I could tell), but his supply was quite a bit lower and I think he may have only had IUI vials available (which is fine, even for a home insem, but just a little more expensive). I gave my cousin my login info and had her give my selections a once-over, and she agreed with both my first & second choices, so I felt ready to go. I had just enough saved up to give it a go for one cycle. THEN, I got a really generous one-year bonus from work, and that cemented things (always good to have a bit of wiggle room, and also a shot for a second cycle if need be).
I put in the order, spoke several times with the extremely patient coordinator at MCB, tracked my cycle and scheduled shipping. Just like that! I ordered one ICI and one IUI vial.
The tank-o-sperm arrived on Thursday (CD11) and I picked it up at the package place after work & took it home. PRS was a bit more discreet, listing only PRS and the address on the box. MCB has Manhattan Cryobank spelled out on their box, so I'm glad I didn't have it delivered to my job. Looked like this.
Checked inside to make sure it wasn't damaged in any visible way,
Then opened it up (with my protective gear on, of course) to make sure that they'd sent the correct vials.
Then it was a waiting game. Not much of a game, admittedly, since my uterus runs with Swiss time precision. I knew I would get my first digital OPK+ either late night on CD11 or morning on CD12. And I did get the smiley face at 10am on Friday, CD12.
FYI: I used to use just the regular, non-digital midstream OPK's. And I think they were pretty accurate. I might still think that, but early-pregnancy-tests.com (where I order all that sort of thing from) either switched to a new supplier, or their supplier "improved" their product and I find the whole "is the test line the SAME or DARKER THAN the control" line interpretation to be a bit murkier. So, I've still been using them, but I've added Clearblue Easy digital OPK's as well (for a definitive "smiley face" or "no smiley face" result). Note: I tried the Clearblue Advanced (purple) and I don't like it BECAUSE once you get a positive, it stays on the screen and you cannot test again for 48 hours. So, if I'm trying to gauge how long my surge is, it's not really helpful, and really quite frustrating. So, just the regular pink Clearblue digital OPK's for me.
(continued in next post)
So...Insem 5.1 & 5.2. Honestly, it felt a lot like 1.0, but with a few caveats. I mean, I've already been through the process of donor searching, selection, ordering, and shipping before; but never with this Bank and it's a new donor, so of course it's all butterflies and "I hope he's the one". I've already done the whole thawing and preparation process, but not since summer of 2011. It feels like forever ago. I've already done the home insemination process before, but I tried a few new things this time.
Basically, same-same but different.
So, this time around, I used Manhattan Cryobank. There were a couple of reasons for this switch. The first and foremost being that Pacific Reproductive Services has increased their fees for swimmers incrementally (and exponentially) since I began this journey four or five years ago. MCB, on the other hand, still has those same rates for Open Identity swimmers, so financially it makes more sense. PRS used to boast the "most open identity donors in the industry" (or something like that), but with Open ID being increasingly in demand from prospective parents, a lot more banks are presenting that option. I also chose PRS, originally, because they seemed to have a wider selection of donors of color. While I think that still holds true for them, other banks now also seem to have a (slightly wider) selection, so in that arena, cost was still the mitigating factor. I did also consider European Sperm Bank USA (their cost per vial is a little higher than MCB, but they don't make you put down a gazillion dollar deposit on the cryotank that the spermcicles are shipped in - most places, PRS included, require an $800 deposit). On the other hand, I'd still have been paying for long distance shipping costs as well. Plus, I found the donor that I really liked at MCB. I'm sure if I'd really wanted a EuroUSA donor, the cost difference is narrow enough that I'm sure I'd just suck it up and make it work. Oh, wait! There was a time when I was seriously considering EuroUSA over MCB. EuroUSA is ONLY open-identity donors AND when you're browsing the catalogue, you can get a 3-month, all-access subscription for $50. MCB doesn't advertise any such deal, so I thought I'd have to pay per item (full medical history, childhood photo, audio interview, etc...) for each donor I was interested in learning more about. In the end, I thought, "What the hell?!" and I decided to register online with MCB just in case there might be a donor that really stood out for me. Turns out that MCB has the same 3-month, all-access subscription deal, but they don't advertise it anywhere on their site that I ever saw. It popped up once I registered though. I think that's what changed the game for me (and led me to my good-looking, really swell guy of a donor).
Moving on...I looked through a bunch of profiles at MCB and came up with a top 5. Turns out that the donor I liked best also had a really high supply of vials in stock (both ICI and IUI). My second choice was also a great guy (as far as I could tell), but his supply was quite a bit lower and I think he may have only had IUI vials available (which is fine, even for a home insem, but just a little more expensive). I gave my cousin my login info and had her give my selections a once-over, and she agreed with both my first & second choices, so I felt ready to go. I had just enough saved up to give it a go for one cycle. THEN, I got a really generous one-year bonus from work, and that cemented things (always good to have a bit of wiggle room, and also a shot for a second cycle if need be).
I put in the order, spoke several times with the extremely patient coordinator at MCB, tracked my cycle and scheduled shipping. Just like that! I ordered one ICI and one IUI vial.
The tank-o-sperm arrived on Thursday (CD11) and I picked it up at the package place after work & took it home. PRS was a bit more discreet, listing only PRS and the address on the box. MCB has Manhattan Cryobank spelled out on their box, so I'm glad I didn't have it delivered to my job. Looked like this.
Checked inside to make sure it wasn't damaged in any visible way,
Then opened it up (with my protective gear on, of course) to make sure that they'd sent the correct vials.
Then it was a waiting game. Not much of a game, admittedly, since my uterus runs with Swiss time precision. I knew I would get my first digital OPK+ either late night on CD11 or morning on CD12. And I did get the smiley face at 10am on Friday, CD12.
FYI: I used to use just the regular, non-digital midstream OPK's. And I think they were pretty accurate. I might still think that, but early-pregnancy-tests.com (where I order all that sort of thing from) either switched to a new supplier, or their supplier "improved" their product and I find the whole "is the test line the SAME or DARKER THAN the control" line interpretation to be a bit murkier. So, I've still been using them, but I've added Clearblue Easy digital OPK's as well (for a definitive "smiley face" or "no smiley face" result). Note: I tried the Clearblue Advanced (purple) and I don't like it BECAUSE once you get a positive, it stays on the screen and you cannot test again for 48 hours. So, if I'm trying to gauge how long my surge is, it's not really helpful, and really quite frustrating. So, just the regular pink Clearblue digital OPK's for me.
(continued in next post)
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Guess Who Back.....
Last time on Self-Made Motherhood Blog....was a LOOOOOOONG time ago, right??? Well, after two unsuccessful (and rather rushed) at home insem attempts, one unmedicated (and rather rushed/stressful) clinical IUI (done in the US, but planned from HK), and one medicated (insanely stressful, and in my opinion, poorly timed) international IUI in Thailand, I was pretty much done trying until I could 1) get myself back to the US permanently (or just settle somewhere where it's actually legal and logistically possible for a single woman to make science babies), and 2) get re-employed and housed. Yeah...that took a lot longer than I'd originally anticipated.
I landed in New York from HK just before Thanksgiving 2013. I was crashing with my cousin (my only relative in NYC) with my cat until the second week of January. During that time alone, I met a bunch of potential new work families and interviewed at a few nanny placement agencies, but only came up with a handful of crazy new parents, and a few very sane families that just couldn't/wouldn't pay (I'm not deriding any family's financial circumstances, but full-time, individualized in-home care for your infant child/children is a privilege, not a right. Some people really need to get acquainted with the reality of their situations and seriously consider a neighborhood daycare. Just sayin'...). So, sharing her living space with me and my (admittedly kinda crazy, very active, extremely affectionate & attention-hungry, and sometimes destructive) cat was a bit much for my cousin, who was still recovering emotionally from her protracted, very serious illness of the year before. So I air bnb'd with the friend of a friend for a couple of weeks (at a very reasonable rate, I might add). Then I had to leave there and was in limbo for a bit. A very, very good friend offered to take my cat until I could find a place of my own, so I could do air bnb or stay with friends without having to worry about whether or not I could bring him along. So that's what I did. I air bnb'd at some of the most affordable and depressing places that Brooklyn had to offer, and stayed with friends and friends of friends whenever someone had room and compassion enough to let me. During this time, I met some families that I thought might work out...until it came time to discuss salary (which I was very up-front about, so I'm not really sure why they seemed so surprised that I meant what I said before we even met). I did pick up a little cash here and there babysitting for people who were glad I was back in NY, and even did a month-long stint nannying for half a a nanny share (Family A was going back to work and Family B was about to give birth, and I was supposed to nanny for them both, but in the end, Family B didn't want to pay. So I nannied for Family A while we both searched for new solutions). I'm sure that alone kept me from being completely destitute, as savings tend to dwindle a lot faster than you'd like when you have no source of income but are still paying for a place to stay, plus all of your credit card and student loan payments on time. Eventually, I did find a really amazing family to work with and a little over a month after that, I was able to finally move into an apartment. But I was unemployed for about six months, and functionally homeless for closer to eight.
It took some doing to get back to a place, financially, where I could even consider getting back in the baby making business. It's been a little over a year since then, but here I am! On the precipice of a new adventure. Stay tuned....
I landed in New York from HK just before Thanksgiving 2013. I was crashing with my cousin (my only relative in NYC) with my cat until the second week of January. During that time alone, I met a bunch of potential new work families and interviewed at a few nanny placement agencies, but only came up with a handful of crazy new parents, and a few very sane families that just couldn't/wouldn't pay (I'm not deriding any family's financial circumstances, but full-time, individualized in-home care for your infant child/children is a privilege, not a right. Some people really need to get acquainted with the reality of their situations and seriously consider a neighborhood daycare. Just sayin'...). So, sharing her living space with me and my (admittedly kinda crazy, very active, extremely affectionate & attention-hungry, and sometimes destructive) cat was a bit much for my cousin, who was still recovering emotionally from her protracted, very serious illness of the year before. So I air bnb'd with the friend of a friend for a couple of weeks (at a very reasonable rate, I might add). Then I had to leave there and was in limbo for a bit. A very, very good friend offered to take my cat until I could find a place of my own, so I could do air bnb or stay with friends without having to worry about whether or not I could bring him along. So that's what I did. I air bnb'd at some of the most affordable and depressing places that Brooklyn had to offer, and stayed with friends and friends of friends whenever someone had room and compassion enough to let me. During this time, I met some families that I thought might work out...until it came time to discuss salary (which I was very up-front about, so I'm not really sure why they seemed so surprised that I meant what I said before we even met). I did pick up a little cash here and there babysitting for people who were glad I was back in NY, and even did a month-long stint nannying for half a a nanny share (Family A was going back to work and Family B was about to give birth, and I was supposed to nanny for them both, but in the end, Family B didn't want to pay. So I nannied for Family A while we both searched for new solutions). I'm sure that alone kept me from being completely destitute, as savings tend to dwindle a lot faster than you'd like when you have no source of income but are still paying for a place to stay, plus all of your credit card and student loan payments on time. Eventually, I did find a really amazing family to work with and a little over a month after that, I was able to finally move into an apartment. But I was unemployed for about six months, and functionally homeless for closer to eight.
It took some doing to get back to a place, financially, where I could even consider getting back in the baby making business. It's been a little over a year since then, but here I am! On the precipice of a new adventure. Stay tuned....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)