Previously on Self-made Motherhood Blog: Surprise! (or not) I'm not pregnant. Anyway, remember when my greedy RE wouldn't give me the Rx for progesterone suppositories and told me to get it from my regular gynecologist (which she knew I didn't even have because I'd just moved to Jersey and gone directly to her)? Right, well she recommended someone, but this doctor had a two-month wait for an appointment. So I soldiered on and get trying on my own. Before the last ttc cycle, I did actually call to make an appointment though. It was still more than a month to wait, but I figured either I'd be pregnant and need a blood test, or I wouldn't be and could talk to her about ttc stuff. The latter prevailed (obviously), and I went in to see her at the end of September. First off, she's Black. This is awesome because, often times, PoC receive biased care from medical professionals, and though it's not impossible to get the same results with a Black or PoC caregiver, it certainly makes for better odds (read this article if you want more info on that). She was immediately very congenial and very open & responsive to my questions. We talked and she decided that I may have some sort of androgen imbalance and/or insulin sensitivity or resistance issue (since all my bloodwork from the RE came back normal), something that may not show up in hormone levels, but could be throwing things off (possibly borderline diabetes or other sensitivity/resistance disorder). She prescribed Metformin for me to start immediately (I was a few days from ovulation in a non-ttc cycle) and Clomid for me to use CD 6-10 of my next ttc cycle. The Metformin is often used for PCOS patients to help regulate the hormones and also (I've since learned) in some women through the first trimester as a way to stave off gestational diabetes in women who are borderline). The Clomid is to help my follicles ripen more fully and give me a chance at bigger, better eggs when I do ovulate. Her plan was "The Fives". Five days on your cycle. Then five days on Clomid. Then five days after finishing the Clomid, do the insem. Then insem again two days later. And again two days after that. Three vials are too expensive for me in a single cycle. I told her this and she said to insem on CD15 and again two days later. I started talking about the cycle after and when I might be able to afford to ttc again after using two vials and she stopped me. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. One thing at a time. Finish the cycle you're on. Start the Metformin today. Keep taking your vitamins and supplements. Do the Clomid protocol. Do your inseminations at home. And we'll see what happens. This might be the one that works. We may not need to even think about the next cycle and so on. One thing at a time." After the gloom and doom proclamations of the RE, it's really refreshing to meet an optimistic medical professional. She so the complete opposite of the RE, I'm a bit surprised that the RE recommended her.
So, that was a few weeks ago. Now I'm on CD4, and on the verge of starting the Clomid protocol and getting this whole show on the road. I'm nervous, but hopeful. Guess we'll see what happens...
Stay tuned...
Sunday, October 9, 2016
Saturday, August 27, 2016
Pssssssst!!!
I'm not pregnant. I don't really have any other news for you right now. I may try again in October or November. Not sure. Currently just thinking some thoughts and feeling some feelings.
Stay tuned....
Stay tuned....
Monday, August 1, 2016
Aaaaannnnd....We're Back!
Welcome! Last time on Self-made Motherhood Blog....our heroine was (surprise) not pregnant and contemplating switching donors (among other things). Still contemplating some things, but very much decided on others. Let's dig in!
Donor: As much as I like my last donor, he has no reported pregnancies, has some random genetic anomaly on his y chromosome (karyotype variant something or other) that apparently affects 2-3% of the male population but can also kinda suck if you're ttc, and also has a dwindling supply. Moving on! I narrowed it down to two back-up donors. One is Black (child of Caribbean immigrants). The other is Asian. If you've been following for a while, you know that I've always been interested in having a donor of color, specifically Black or bi/mulit-racial with a Black parent. Mostly because I'm doing this on my own and I don't want every rando on the street who stops to tell me how cute my child is to constantly ask "what" he/she is or remark on how he/she must have gotten (insert random non-stereotypical African feature) from her "father". I just don't want my child constantly being reminded of a person that, apart from donating the sperm that made him/her possible) will not be a person he/she can refer back to for anything. I'm Black. I want my child to be Black and for randos on the street not to ask overly personal questions and/or make inappropriate/rude remarks (like people who straight-up asked one of my cousins if she was her son's babysitter, then if he was adopted - because healthy white, blue-eyed newborns are all the rage in Black family adoption circles...?). So that's my reasoning behind that. Making the addition of the Asian donor give me pause. I really want brown babies. Just about anyone in my family who's had children with a white person has had very fair skinned children, so now I worry that choosing a Asian donor (though his baby photo is on the browner side of Asian) will make my child some sort of fetishized topic of conversation for randos on the street. *sigh*
Then there's the other back-up donor. This is gonna sound a little weird....I like a lot of things about him, but his audio interview comes off as very gay, but very religious and very closeted. If not for this, he might have had the top back-up spot, but I'm not sure he's the person I want to potentially have meeting my free-spirited future child in 18 years.
At any rate, both back-up donors have reported pregnancies. So, I'm going forward (for the time being) with the Asian donor.
Other contemplations: I did decide to go ahead with the DHEA. I started in June at a dose of 25 mg/day. This continued through my June and July cycles. I just started my new cycle and upped it to 50 mg/day, taken in two doses of 25 mg. I had no side effects from the 25 mg dosage, and so far not feeling anything off with the 50 mg. I'm also taking Ubiquinol instead of CoQ10. Was taking 200-300mg/day until the start of this cycle, when I upped that to 400mg, split in two doses. I also ordered a box of Pregnitude and started that just a couple of days before my current cycle began.
I ovulated a day early (cd 12) in my last cycle, but I'd expected to because of the proximity to the full moon. But then, my LP turned out to be uncharacteristically short (only 9 days instead of 11 or even 10). So, now I'm trying to figure out the timing to have the spermcicle shipped. I could ovulate as early as cd 10 (which turns out to be a Monday), so I'm not sure if I should try to schedule it for Monday delivery or be extra safe and schedule delivery for the preceding Friday. I e-mailed the Bank to see what they think and what my shipping options are. Have to remember to request the plain brown box and not the Tardis.
That's about it for now. Stay tuned...
Donor: As much as I like my last donor, he has no reported pregnancies, has some random genetic anomaly on his y chromosome (karyotype variant something or other) that apparently affects 2-3% of the male population but can also kinda suck if you're ttc, and also has a dwindling supply. Moving on! I narrowed it down to two back-up donors. One is Black (child of Caribbean immigrants). The other is Asian. If you've been following for a while, you know that I've always been interested in having a donor of color, specifically Black or bi/mulit-racial with a Black parent. Mostly because I'm doing this on my own and I don't want every rando on the street who stops to tell me how cute my child is to constantly ask "what" he/she is or remark on how he/she must have gotten (insert random non-stereotypical African feature) from her "father". I just don't want my child constantly being reminded of a person that, apart from donating the sperm that made him/her possible) will not be a person he/she can refer back to for anything. I'm Black. I want my child to be Black and for randos on the street not to ask overly personal questions and/or make inappropriate/rude remarks (like people who straight-up asked one of my cousins if she was her son's babysitter, then if he was adopted - because healthy white, blue-eyed newborns are all the rage in Black family adoption circles...?). So that's my reasoning behind that. Making the addition of the Asian donor give me pause. I really want brown babies. Just about anyone in my family who's had children with a white person has had very fair skinned children, so now I worry that choosing a Asian donor (though his baby photo is on the browner side of Asian) will make my child some sort of fetishized topic of conversation for randos on the street. *sigh*
Then there's the other back-up donor. This is gonna sound a little weird....I like a lot of things about him, but his audio interview comes off as very gay, but very religious and very closeted. If not for this, he might have had the top back-up spot, but I'm not sure he's the person I want to potentially have meeting my free-spirited future child in 18 years.
At any rate, both back-up donors have reported pregnancies. So, I'm going forward (for the time being) with the Asian donor.
Other contemplations: I did decide to go ahead with the DHEA. I started in June at a dose of 25 mg/day. This continued through my June and July cycles. I just started my new cycle and upped it to 50 mg/day, taken in two doses of 25 mg. I had no side effects from the 25 mg dosage, and so far not feeling anything off with the 50 mg. I'm also taking Ubiquinol instead of CoQ10. Was taking 200-300mg/day until the start of this cycle, when I upped that to 400mg, split in two doses. I also ordered a box of Pregnitude and started that just a couple of days before my current cycle began.
I ovulated a day early (cd 12) in my last cycle, but I'd expected to because of the proximity to the full moon. But then, my LP turned out to be uncharacteristically short (only 9 days instead of 11 or even 10). So, now I'm trying to figure out the timing to have the spermcicle shipped. I could ovulate as early as cd 10 (which turns out to be a Monday), so I'm not sure if I should try to schedule it for Monday delivery or be extra safe and schedule delivery for the preceding Friday. I e-mailed the Bank to see what they think and what my shipping options are. Have to remember to request the plain brown box and not the Tardis.
That's about it for now. Stay tuned...
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
The Results Are In!
You're not gonna believe this: Someone actually read my blog AND commented on it. (I know! Like, whaaaat???) Anyhow, after reading the last entry, she said she was praying for me to get a BFP (how sweet is that? I mean, really??), and I didn't want to keep her in suspense with my natural inclination towards procrastination, so I decided to hurry up and finish this entry to alleviate any tension she may be feeling.
No, I'm not pregnant (but thanks for the prayers and well wishes). I'm hoping when that happens I'll be able to come up with a more clever title for the blog post.
Now that that's out of the way, let's sort through what's what. I didn't mention this in the last post because I'd looked (briefly) into the possibility of switching donors, but didn't find anyone I liked as much as this one; so I was already set on forging ahead with the insem. But since I'm not currently pregnant, I'll give you the skinny. When my spermcicles arrived for my last insem, as usual, I opened the box to confirm the correct vial/donor number. I had also requested (again) the vial with the highest recorded post-thaw motility, so I looked over the vial stats insert to see what I was working with. That's when I noticed something I hadn't noticed before. Actually, I had noticed it before. When I saw the short profile. But it was downplayed in the profile as "Analysis shows an apparently balanced pericentric inversion of one chromosome 9. This inversion 9 is considered a normal chromosome variant, and has not been associated with any phenotypic abnormality." So I didn't think anything more of it because it was (according to the very report I was reading) "normal". Anyway, I re-noticed it when I opened the packet this last time. The entire thing I noticed was: "46,XY, inv(9)(p12q13) – Variant male karyotype."
And for whatever reason (possibly because I've been at this for a hot minute with the same donor and am still (as you'll remember from the first sentence of this post) not pregnant), it struck me as odd this time around. So I googled it. Do you know what you get when you google "ttc 46, XY, inv(9)(p12q13)"? Nothing good. Apparently....this particular "normal chromosome variant" can be responsible for spontaneous early abortion/failed implantation due to chromosomal abnormality of the embryo. Quick question: WHY IN ALL OF THE UNHOLY FUCK WOULD A GODDAM SPERM BANK EVEN OFFER A SPERM SELECTION THAT COULD CAUSE SPONTANEOUS FUCKING EARLY ABORTION????? You know what else there is? In one study, increased instance of children with dysmorphic features. Sounds great! What else? Probably a bunch, but suffice it to say I was upset enough from there. So, naturally, I was freaking out a bit. I mean, I had this box-o-sperm sitting in my closet waiting for me to ovulate and had already lost $1000+ in my previous "dead sperm" insem cycle. I didn't want to call off this cycle. But at the same time, I worried that using this donor at all would be throwing away money if anything that happens is just gonna jettison itself before anything can stick anyway. On the other hand, it's considered a " normal" variant and occurs in 2-3% of the population. Men with this variant can and do father perfectly healthy children. It doesn't necessarily spell doom from beginning to end. Plus, the sperm is already at my house. Even if I sent it back, the bank can't trade it out for another donor because it's already left their facility. It's officially-officially mine, whether I want it now or not. So, I decided to go for it.
I knew early on in my tww that I wasn't pregnant, so the EPT-'s were not a shock. I mean, it's always a disappointment, but it wasn't a surprise. Now that I'm looking ahead to future cycles, I'm debating with myself on whether or not to change donors. I still have to get my medical release form signed for The Bank (PP New Jersey doesn't do anything but give pregnancy tests and pap smears, so I'm making an appointment with PP NYC to get it signed at the same facility where I had my previous one done last year). And I'm kinda broke and waiting until my raise comes through at work in July to get back on the horse again. Looking like hopefully August, maybe as late as September. It's Memorial Day weekend now, so I have a couple of months hiatus until I go for it again.
In the meantime, I'm gonna look into other possibilities. I really, REALLY like my current donor (despite his shorter stature), but given the facts at hand, I think I'd be remiss (and blame myself later) if I didn't look into other donor options. To that end, I'm going to get a 3-month subscription at the Bank and look over all of the Black/Bi-/Multi-racial/More-or-less Brown donors that they have (and keep checking back every month until it's close to go time). I'm still focused on Open ID donors, but may look into an anonymous donor if I see one that's somehow leaps and bounds better than the one I already have. I also have a ttc friend on the west coast who recently met a donor from the Known Donor Registry, which is essentially a meeting hub for women/families that want to conceive with a donor that they've actually met and potential donors who are interested in helping create families while being open to meeting the families/potential future children in person. His sperm report is off-the-charts good and she felt a really good connection with him when they met in person, so they've decided to draw up a loose agreement and go forward with her next cycle. The plan, as far as I understand, is for her to do intravaginal home insems with his sperm a few times during her fertile phase, and also have a midwife come over once to do an insem. With the midwife involved, he will be considered a donor only and not the father under the law. I think it's amazing and I'm super excited for her (fresh is best after all!), but it's kind of like online dating to me. I just don't think I have the disposition to make something like that work. I'm naturally suspicious of other people already. Trying to find a known donor from that registry would probably set off all of my social anxiety bells and whistles. If I were wired to to connect that easily with other people, I probably wouldn't be so focused on making science babies instead of doing this all with a partner. *sigh....
I also finally got my hands on my actual medical records from the RE's office, so I can see exactly what my numbers are as opposed to going off the vague non-explanation of the RE nurse. I'm a little concerned about my cd3 FSH (10), but then all my other stats are normal and healthy for someone in the 27-33 and 33-37 year old ranges. So not hopeless. And no tubal impediments. I'm convinced that I'd have been knocked up ages ago if I'd been doing it with fresh sperm. It's just stronger and lives for freaking ever! BUT, one of my other ttc friends (and my personal hero) is another single Black woman that I met online while she was ttc for her second child (she'd already had a little girl using spermcicles a couple years before). She is currently pregnant with her third child. All three conceived at home with IVI using frozen donor sperm. I've gotten the details of her particular method from her, and I think I may try it her way on my next go round. I won't go into specifics here and now, but if/when I try it, I'll give you the lowdown at that time.
Back to the medical records/test results though...On that note, I'm considering other supplements and whatnot that I may try out for the next round. I'm currently taking 800mg of CoQ10, but I may switch to a 200mg dose of Ubiquinol instead. It's more concentrated and more easily absorbed than CoQ10 in women over 35. Another online ttc friend (also another single Black woman) is drinking wheatgrass juice every other day to help lower her FSH and boost egg health. I might try that, too. One way or the other, it's healthy for you and can't do any harm, so why not? On the other hand, high FSH is just an indicator of how well you might respond to stimulation meds; and since I'm not planning to take any Follistim or Clomid-like anything, I'm not sure if it matters for me. High FSH numbers on cd3 indicate that your body is working a little harder to make you ovulate, so I'm not sure what lowering FSH would actually do for me doing non-stimulated cycles. Of course, FSH also fluctuates from cycle to cycle, so maybe if I tested this cycle it may have been lower. Who knows? BUT, because of my high FSH, I'm concerned about egg quality and production (even though there's no test for egg quality besides taking a dna sample from an extracted egg), I'm contemplating trying to supplement with DHEA for a few months (3-4 max). In IVF patients on a DHEA regimen, the egg quality is better and also the number of follicles/eggs is higher. The side effects can be extreme though (heart palpitations in rare cases and hair loss), but you never know how you react to something yourself until you try it, as every woman is different. That's also why I'd only try it out for a few months though. I figure to start it during my two cycles off to get it built up in my system and make a real difference for new eggs coming down the line, then up to ovulation or bfp/bfn for the next two ttc cycles in August/September. The recommended dose is 75mg daily divided into three doses, but I'm not sure if I'd start out that high and decrease based on side effects, or start off at a lower dose and increase if there are no side effects. That one, for me, is still very much in the research phase though, so it will be a little time before I've made a decision on that.
I think that's about it for now. Re-cap: Still not pregnant. Still not completely hopeless. Still single and focused on making some science babies. Still contemplating changing donors. Still contemplating various vitamins/supplements to go with for the next round...but still not independently wealthy, so sitting out ttc until August or September.
Stay tuned...
No, I'm not pregnant (but thanks for the prayers and well wishes). I'm hoping when that happens I'll be able to come up with a more clever title for the blog post.
Now that that's out of the way, let's sort through what's what. I didn't mention this in the last post because I'd looked (briefly) into the possibility of switching donors, but didn't find anyone I liked as much as this one; so I was already set on forging ahead with the insem. But since I'm not currently pregnant, I'll give you the skinny. When my spermcicles arrived for my last insem, as usual, I opened the box to confirm the correct vial/donor number. I had also requested (again) the vial with the highest recorded post-thaw motility, so I looked over the vial stats insert to see what I was working with. That's when I noticed something I hadn't noticed before. Actually, I had noticed it before. When I saw the short profile. But it was downplayed in the profile as "Analysis shows an apparently balanced pericentric inversion of one chromosome 9. This inversion 9 is considered a normal chromosome variant, and has not been associated with any phenotypic abnormality." So I didn't think anything more of it because it was (according to the very report I was reading) "normal". Anyway, I re-noticed it when I opened the packet this last time. The entire thing I noticed was: "46,XY, inv(9)(p12q13) – Variant male karyotype."
And for whatever reason (possibly because I've been at this for a hot minute with the same donor and am still (as you'll remember from the first sentence of this post) not pregnant), it struck me as odd this time around. So I googled it. Do you know what you get when you google "ttc 46, XY, inv(9)(p12q13)"? Nothing good. Apparently....this particular "normal chromosome variant" can be responsible for spontaneous early abortion/failed implantation due to chromosomal abnormality of the embryo. Quick question: WHY IN ALL OF THE UNHOLY FUCK WOULD A GODDAM SPERM BANK EVEN OFFER A SPERM SELECTION THAT COULD CAUSE SPONTANEOUS FUCKING EARLY ABORTION????? You know what else there is? In one study, increased instance of children with dysmorphic features. Sounds great! What else? Probably a bunch, but suffice it to say I was upset enough from there. So, naturally, I was freaking out a bit. I mean, I had this box-o-sperm sitting in my closet waiting for me to ovulate and had already lost $1000+ in my previous "dead sperm" insem cycle. I didn't want to call off this cycle. But at the same time, I worried that using this donor at all would be throwing away money if anything that happens is just gonna jettison itself before anything can stick anyway. On the other hand, it's considered a " normal" variant and occurs in 2-3% of the population. Men with this variant can and do father perfectly healthy children. It doesn't necessarily spell doom from beginning to end. Plus, the sperm is already at my house. Even if I sent it back, the bank can't trade it out for another donor because it's already left their facility. It's officially-officially mine, whether I want it now or not. So, I decided to go for it.
I knew early on in my tww that I wasn't pregnant, so the EPT-'s were not a shock. I mean, it's always a disappointment, but it wasn't a surprise. Now that I'm looking ahead to future cycles, I'm debating with myself on whether or not to change donors. I still have to get my medical release form signed for The Bank (PP New Jersey doesn't do anything but give pregnancy tests and pap smears, so I'm making an appointment with PP NYC to get it signed at the same facility where I had my previous one done last year). And I'm kinda broke and waiting until my raise comes through at work in July to get back on the horse again. Looking like hopefully August, maybe as late as September. It's Memorial Day weekend now, so I have a couple of months hiatus until I go for it again.
In the meantime, I'm gonna look into other possibilities. I really, REALLY like my current donor (despite his shorter stature), but given the facts at hand, I think I'd be remiss (and blame myself later) if I didn't look into other donor options. To that end, I'm going to get a 3-month subscription at the Bank and look over all of the Black/Bi-/Multi-racial/More-or-less Brown donors that they have (and keep checking back every month until it's close to go time). I'm still focused on Open ID donors, but may look into an anonymous donor if I see one that's somehow leaps and bounds better than the one I already have. I also have a ttc friend on the west coast who recently met a donor from the Known Donor Registry, which is essentially a meeting hub for women/families that want to conceive with a donor that they've actually met and potential donors who are interested in helping create families while being open to meeting the families/potential future children in person. His sperm report is off-the-charts good and she felt a really good connection with him when they met in person, so they've decided to draw up a loose agreement and go forward with her next cycle. The plan, as far as I understand, is for her to do intravaginal home insems with his sperm a few times during her fertile phase, and also have a midwife come over once to do an insem. With the midwife involved, he will be considered a donor only and not the father under the law. I think it's amazing and I'm super excited for her (fresh is best after all!), but it's kind of like online dating to me. I just don't think I have the disposition to make something like that work. I'm naturally suspicious of other people already. Trying to find a known donor from that registry would probably set off all of my social anxiety bells and whistles. If I were wired to to connect that easily with other people, I probably wouldn't be so focused on making science babies instead of doing this all with a partner. *sigh....
I also finally got my hands on my actual medical records from the RE's office, so I can see exactly what my numbers are as opposed to going off the vague non-explanation of the RE nurse. I'm a little concerned about my cd3 FSH (10), but then all my other stats are normal and healthy for someone in the 27-33 and 33-37 year old ranges. So not hopeless. And no tubal impediments. I'm convinced that I'd have been knocked up ages ago if I'd been doing it with fresh sperm. It's just stronger and lives for freaking ever! BUT, one of my other ttc friends (and my personal hero) is another single Black woman that I met online while she was ttc for her second child (she'd already had a little girl using spermcicles a couple years before). She is currently pregnant with her third child. All three conceived at home with IVI using frozen donor sperm. I've gotten the details of her particular method from her, and I think I may try it her way on my next go round. I won't go into specifics here and now, but if/when I try it, I'll give you the lowdown at that time.
Back to the medical records/test results though...On that note, I'm considering other supplements and whatnot that I may try out for the next round. I'm currently taking 800mg of CoQ10, but I may switch to a 200mg dose of Ubiquinol instead. It's more concentrated and more easily absorbed than CoQ10 in women over 35. Another online ttc friend (also another single Black woman) is drinking wheatgrass juice every other day to help lower her FSH and boost egg health. I might try that, too. One way or the other, it's healthy for you and can't do any harm, so why not? On the other hand, high FSH is just an indicator of how well you might respond to stimulation meds; and since I'm not planning to take any Follistim or Clomid-like anything, I'm not sure if it matters for me. High FSH numbers on cd3 indicate that your body is working a little harder to make you ovulate, so I'm not sure what lowering FSH would actually do for me doing non-stimulated cycles. Of course, FSH also fluctuates from cycle to cycle, so maybe if I tested this cycle it may have been lower. Who knows? BUT, because of my high FSH, I'm concerned about egg quality and production (even though there's no test for egg quality besides taking a dna sample from an extracted egg), I'm contemplating trying to supplement with DHEA for a few months (3-4 max). In IVF patients on a DHEA regimen, the egg quality is better and also the number of follicles/eggs is higher. The side effects can be extreme though (heart palpitations in rare cases and hair loss), but you never know how you react to something yourself until you try it, as every woman is different. That's also why I'd only try it out for a few months though. I figure to start it during my two cycles off to get it built up in my system and make a real difference for new eggs coming down the line, then up to ovulation or bfp/bfn for the next two ttc cycles in August/September. The recommended dose is 75mg daily divided into three doses, but I'm not sure if I'd start out that high and decrease based on side effects, or start off at a lower dose and increase if there are no side effects. That one, for me, is still very much in the research phase though, so it will be a little time before I've made a decision on that.
I think that's about it for now. Re-cap: Still not pregnant. Still not completely hopeless. Still single and focused on making some science babies. Still contemplating changing donors. Still contemplating various vitamins/supplements to go with for the next round...but still not independently wealthy, so sitting out ttc until August or September.
Stay tuned...
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Something Witty About The Number Eleven Being Lucky (or whatevs...)
Previously on Self-Made Motherhood Blog: Our heroine received a dud vial full of dead swimmers and then flew across the country to celebrate her birthday before she'd had any time to process. The birthday celebrationings were stellar, yay for amazing friends on that one. The next decision upon my return was whether or not to go forward with an insem for the next cycle. Should I take a break and give myself time to process? Should I switch donors after the dud vial? Should I switch sperm banks altogether??
Well, I decided to go forward using the same donor from the same bank and hope that lightning doesn't ever strike twice (especially since the home insem discrimination means that I can't even file an official complaint because they only accept those from lab technicians). It was definitely a risk. But I decided to do it anyway. I was pretty committed to staying with MCB (who has time/resources to get all new paperwork done for a new bank, go through that whole process again, and wait until everything clears?). I contemplated changing donors, but I didn't see any new (or old) donors of African descent that were Open ID. I discussed it on one of my ttc message boards and one woman reminded me that the Open ID isn't an iron clad guarantee, and that even a previously anonymous donor may decide to disclose his identity to a birth family if asked at a later date. I looked through a bunch of anonymous donors, but no one that I liked as much as my current donor. I didn't have time to lose. I forged ahead.
In light of my early ovulation on my last cycle, I made sure to get my box-o-sperm delivered two days earlier than my usual prediction. This worked out well because I got a smiley face on the digital OPK at 10am on CD11. That was a Thursday and I was working all day Friday, so the options were to insem CD12 early morning before work (less than 24 hours after my first OPK+) or wait until after work (34-36 hours after the +). I decided to do it after work. I kept testing all day CD12 and kept pulling up positives and smiley faces the whole day. I was able to leave work about an hour early and got home around 6:30pm instead of 7/7:30pm. Got another smiley face when I got home. I decided to check my cervix and see what was up. Overshare: I tend to get a metric ton of ewcm, so I try to swab some of it away before doing an insem to make a clearer path. I started having what I think were ovulation pains on my left side, so I did another OPK at 7:30pm and got a negative on the digital and a waning test line on the dip strip. I started the thawing process and did the insem right away (lots of swimmy swimmers when I checked on the microscope this time). Afterwards, I put in an Instead cup with a little body temperature Pre-seed in it just in case anything didn't make it in. I had some more pains on my left side and just lay with my hips/bum elevated for a while.
I had called my RE's office and asked if I might be able to get progesterone support for my at-home insem and was basically told that they won't prescribe me anything because I'm not doing the insem with them and they can't monitor me. Fine. Whatever. I'll use the cream as usual. No big deal. I swear these people are out for money and money alone, and they will invent new ways to part you from it at every turn. Case in point, just before this cycle, I e-mailed the RE and asked her to sign my medical release form for the sperm bank (it has to be renewed annually, and mine had expired at the end of April). I'm not doing any cycles with them, but they did all of my fertility testing and latest bloodwork (and reviewed my medical records from elsewhere), so it seemed logical that they could sign off on my being fit for a pregnancy should one occur. She rang me to tell me that the only way they would sign it is if I paid to meet with their genetic counselor and get genetic screening done for myself AND for my donor, even though I'm using frozen sperm from an accredited bank. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that??? It's from a sperm bank. Where they test for all the same genetic markers that the RE wants to test for. Why do I have to pay extra to have them test a sample that's already been tested and verified? And would I have to buy a vial just for them to play with??? And naturally, all of this testing would be out-of-pocket because their genetic testing firm is private and not covered by insurance. Fuck. That. She recommended I get the Rx from my regular ob/gyn. Luckily, the bank sent this shipment along and then just sent me a reminder to get the release done before ordering again. But the RE rang me at the last minute to tell me that she couldn't sign the release form because I hadn't agreed to doing the genetic testing. Yet another reason for me to hate the US healthcare system in general, and the infertility medical establishment in particular.
Anyhoo...I thought for a minute I might skip doing the progesterone cream this time around because it's inconvenient to have to apply it so often throughout the day when I'm working. But then I didn't want to wonder "what if?" at the end of my cycle, so I've decided to do it. This time I'm applying 80mg four times per day (6:30am/pm & 12:30pm/am). I also decided to take 80mg of bromelain from 1-5dpo. It's derived from pineapple core. I was reading up about it and discovered it's not just for helping to build your uterine lining for implantation. It actually contains an enzyme that helps to break down the wall of the corpus luteum once it enters the uterus (assuming that an egg was fertilized and made its way out of the fallopian tube) so that it can more easily attach itself to the uterus and implant. Sounded like a good idea to me. I also started taking 400IU of vitamin E during LP (not sure if I should have started it earlier in my cycle or not). It's also supposed to help prepare the uterus for implantation. In addition, I'm doing the moxabustion recommended by my acupuncturist when I was living in HK in 2012. As with most things related to acupuncture and fertility, it's meant to increase blood flow to the uterus. Other than that, just waiting around trying not to obsess over my body's every little twinge and eating healthy, nourishing foods.
I'm now at 6dpo. I had a little bit of spotting on 3 & 4dpo (not uncommon after an IUI). Very light and only when I wiped after going to the bathroom. I felt a little nauseous from 2-4dpo, but only really felt it on 4dpo because I had to work and function on a busy Monday that day, whereas the first two days was on the weekend and I could just lie down and take a nap if I felt like it (so I did). And it wasn't anything debilitating. Just uncomfortable. Woke up to slightly sore breasts this morning (which is one of my chiefest pms sypmtoms), and have been having odd little twinges/discomfort in the general uterus area today, but that's not really conclusive of anything. We wait. We wait. We wait.
Stay tuned...
Well, I decided to go forward using the same donor from the same bank and hope that lightning doesn't ever strike twice (especially since the home insem discrimination means that I can't even file an official complaint because they only accept those from lab technicians). It was definitely a risk. But I decided to do it anyway. I was pretty committed to staying with MCB (who has time/resources to get all new paperwork done for a new bank, go through that whole process again, and wait until everything clears?). I contemplated changing donors, but I didn't see any new (or old) donors of African descent that were Open ID. I discussed it on one of my ttc message boards and one woman reminded me that the Open ID isn't an iron clad guarantee, and that even a previously anonymous donor may decide to disclose his identity to a birth family if asked at a later date. I looked through a bunch of anonymous donors, but no one that I liked as much as my current donor. I didn't have time to lose. I forged ahead.
In light of my early ovulation on my last cycle, I made sure to get my box-o-sperm delivered two days earlier than my usual prediction. This worked out well because I got a smiley face on the digital OPK at 10am on CD11. That was a Thursday and I was working all day Friday, so the options were to insem CD12 early morning before work (less than 24 hours after my first OPK+) or wait until after work (34-36 hours after the +). I decided to do it after work. I kept testing all day CD12 and kept pulling up positives and smiley faces the whole day. I was able to leave work about an hour early and got home around 6:30pm instead of 7/7:30pm. Got another smiley face when I got home. I decided to check my cervix and see what was up. Overshare: I tend to get a metric ton of ewcm, so I try to swab some of it away before doing an insem to make a clearer path. I started having what I think were ovulation pains on my left side, so I did another OPK at 7:30pm and got a negative on the digital and a waning test line on the dip strip. I started the thawing process and did the insem right away (lots of swimmy swimmers when I checked on the microscope this time). Afterwards, I put in an Instead cup with a little body temperature Pre-seed in it just in case anything didn't make it in. I had some more pains on my left side and just lay with my hips/bum elevated for a while.
I had called my RE's office and asked if I might be able to get progesterone support for my at-home insem and was basically told that they won't prescribe me anything because I'm not doing the insem with them and they can't monitor me. Fine. Whatever. I'll use the cream as usual. No big deal. I swear these people are out for money and money alone, and they will invent new ways to part you from it at every turn. Case in point, just before this cycle, I e-mailed the RE and asked her to sign my medical release form for the sperm bank (it has to be renewed annually, and mine had expired at the end of April). I'm not doing any cycles with them, but they did all of my fertility testing and latest bloodwork (and reviewed my medical records from elsewhere), so it seemed logical that they could sign off on my being fit for a pregnancy should one occur. She rang me to tell me that the only way they would sign it is if I paid to meet with their genetic counselor and get genetic screening done for myself AND for my donor, even though I'm using frozen sperm from an accredited bank. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that??? It's from a sperm bank. Where they test for all the same genetic markers that the RE wants to test for. Why do I have to pay extra to have them test a sample that's already been tested and verified? And would I have to buy a vial just for them to play with??? And naturally, all of this testing would be out-of-pocket because their genetic testing firm is private and not covered by insurance. Fuck. That. She recommended I get the Rx from my regular ob/gyn. Luckily, the bank sent this shipment along and then just sent me a reminder to get the release done before ordering again. But the RE rang me at the last minute to tell me that she couldn't sign the release form because I hadn't agreed to doing the genetic testing. Yet another reason for me to hate the US healthcare system in general, and the infertility medical establishment in particular.
Anyhoo...I thought for a minute I might skip doing the progesterone cream this time around because it's inconvenient to have to apply it so often throughout the day when I'm working. But then I didn't want to wonder "what if?" at the end of my cycle, so I've decided to do it. This time I'm applying 80mg four times per day (6:30am/pm & 12:30pm/am). I also decided to take 80mg of bromelain from 1-5dpo. It's derived from pineapple core. I was reading up about it and discovered it's not just for helping to build your uterine lining for implantation. It actually contains an enzyme that helps to break down the wall of the corpus luteum once it enters the uterus (assuming that an egg was fertilized and made its way out of the fallopian tube) so that it can more easily attach itself to the uterus and implant. Sounded like a good idea to me. I also started taking 400IU of vitamin E during LP (not sure if I should have started it earlier in my cycle or not). It's also supposed to help prepare the uterus for implantation. In addition, I'm doing the moxabustion recommended by my acupuncturist when I was living in HK in 2012. As with most things related to acupuncture and fertility, it's meant to increase blood flow to the uterus. Other than that, just waiting around trying not to obsess over my body's every little twinge and eating healthy, nourishing foods.
I'm now at 6dpo. I had a little bit of spotting on 3 & 4dpo (not uncommon after an IUI). Very light and only when I wiped after going to the bathroom. I felt a little nauseous from 2-4dpo, but only really felt it on 4dpo because I had to work and function on a busy Monday that day, whereas the first two days was on the weekend and I could just lie down and take a nap if I felt like it (so I did). And it wasn't anything debilitating. Just uncomfortable. Woke up to slightly sore breasts this morning (which is one of my chiefest pms sypmtoms), and have been having odd little twinges/discomfort in the general uterus area today, but that's not really conclusive of anything. We wait. We wait. We wait.
Stay tuned...
Sunday, April 24, 2016
Well, That Was Anticlimactic....
...or Things To Do in Jersey When Your Sperm Is Dead.
Yup, you read that right. I wasn't even going to go forward with insem this cycle. I'm traveling tomorrow (cd12, the day before my projected usual ovulation day), so I had originally decided to have my box-o-sperm shipped to my destination, figuring with the time difference, I'd still be on my usual schedule to insem before ovulating overnight/early morning on cd13. BUT THEN, I started OPK'ing in the morning on cd10. It was fmu, so I just used a dip strip, figuring either a) it was too early to get any real reading, or b) if I was starting to produce LH, fmu would be a concentrated sample and better not to throw the digital off. Yeah, well that dip strip came up with two dark lines. WHAT???? I did my best not to panic. I packed a few OPK's to take to work with me (digital, midstream, and dip strip). I POS around 9am and came up with two more dark lines on dip strip and midstream, and a big fat smiley face on the digital. This was a Wednesday. There was absolutely no way that ovulation was gonna wait until late Friday night. I frantically dialed The Bank. The Tardis was supposed to ship Wednesday to arrive at my destination on Friday. They were able catch it before it left and re-rout it to my home & send it overnight so I'd receive it Thursday (cd11) and be able to insem when I got home from work. I kept getting positive tests all day until about 9pm Wednesday. Negative digital and the test lines on the midstream and dip strips were starting to fade. I was also (very uncharacteristically) experiencing what I think were sharp ovulation pains on my right side. I was positive I had ovulated and was out for the count. Adding insult to injury, all the trouble I'd gone through to get the Tardis delivered overnight (more money out the window).
A friend on one of my message boards looked at my chart and said that my cd11 temp rise wasn't a high spike like it would have been if I'd ovulated and that I should just go for it. I decided to check my cervix when I got home from work, just to soothe my conscience that I'd given it every logical effort before shipping the sample back to The Bank and asking them to hold it until the next cycle. Disappointing, but at least I wouldn't be throwing away money trying an insem when I was already sure it was too late. You know, save that money for the next one. But my cervix was open and ooooozing ewcm. I decided to go for it. I did my usual and set up my area (magnifying mirror, light source, speculum, Pre-Seed, Instead cups for just in case, cotton swabs, syringe and catheter, ferning microscope) and began the thawing process.
I took the vial out of the Tardis and placed it in the finger of a sterile exam glove (to protect it from any water getting in), then placed that into a luke warm water bath (97.6 F) for a little under ten minutes.
After removing it from the water (and the glove), I gently turn the vial over a few times to mix the contents. Then I place it under my right boob (a thing I can do at my cup size) to keep it at body temperature until I'm ready to insem. I attach the catheter to the syringe, keeping the length of the catheter in its packaging to keep it sterile until use. When I'm sure I've got everything in place, I set the vial on the table and slowly draw the sperm up through the catheter into the syringe. Then I place a single drop from the tip of the catheter onto the lens of my ferning microscope so I can have a look at my swimmers swimming. Except they weren't swimming. Instead of a million tiny dots dancing, I saw a million tiny dots completely still. I thought I must be focusing the lens wrong. I looked away and looked again with fresh eyes, adjusting the focus. Still all dead. This had never, ever happened to me before. I tried to keep a level head. I cleaned the lens and tried another drop from the tip of the syringe. Same thing. I cleaned the lens again and tapped out as much as I could manage from the lid of the vial. I looked again. Nothing. The only time there was any movement was when I rebalanced the microscope in my hands and the liquid of the sample would move with gravity. A Dead Sea of sperm. I was livid. In shock.
I did the insem anyway since I was already in position, hoping against all hope that there might be one living, fighting swimmer in the sample that might hit its target; but I'm absolutely not optimistic. I e-mailed the Bank that same night. The next morning, I received this response:
"Good morning,
Yup, you read that right. I wasn't even going to go forward with insem this cycle. I'm traveling tomorrow (cd12, the day before my projected usual ovulation day), so I had originally decided to have my box-o-sperm shipped to my destination, figuring with the time difference, I'd still be on my usual schedule to insem before ovulating overnight/early morning on cd13. BUT THEN, I started OPK'ing in the morning on cd10. It was fmu, so I just used a dip strip, figuring either a) it was too early to get any real reading, or b) if I was starting to produce LH, fmu would be a concentrated sample and better not to throw the digital off. Yeah, well that dip strip came up with two dark lines. WHAT???? I did my best not to panic. I packed a few OPK's to take to work with me (digital, midstream, and dip strip). I POS around 9am and came up with two more dark lines on dip strip and midstream, and a big fat smiley face on the digital. This was a Wednesday. There was absolutely no way that ovulation was gonna wait until late Friday night. I frantically dialed The Bank. The Tardis was supposed to ship Wednesday to arrive at my destination on Friday. They were able catch it before it left and re-rout it to my home & send it overnight so I'd receive it Thursday (cd11) and be able to insem when I got home from work. I kept getting positive tests all day until about 9pm Wednesday. Negative digital and the test lines on the midstream and dip strips were starting to fade. I was also (very uncharacteristically) experiencing what I think were sharp ovulation pains on my right side. I was positive I had ovulated and was out for the count. Adding insult to injury, all the trouble I'd gone through to get the Tardis delivered overnight (more money out the window).
A friend on one of my message boards looked at my chart and said that my cd11 temp rise wasn't a high spike like it would have been if I'd ovulated and that I should just go for it. I decided to check my cervix when I got home from work, just to soothe my conscience that I'd given it every logical effort before shipping the sample back to The Bank and asking them to hold it until the next cycle. Disappointing, but at least I wouldn't be throwing away money trying an insem when I was already sure it was too late. You know, save that money for the next one. But my cervix was open and ooooozing ewcm. I decided to go for it. I did my usual and set up my area (magnifying mirror, light source, speculum, Pre-Seed, Instead cups for just in case, cotton swabs, syringe and catheter, ferning microscope) and began the thawing process.
I took the vial out of the Tardis and placed it in the finger of a sterile exam glove (to protect it from any water getting in), then placed that into a luke warm water bath (97.6 F) for a little under ten minutes. 
I did the insem anyway since I was already in position, hoping against all hope that there might be one living, fighting swimmer in the sample that might hit its target; but I'm absolutely not optimistic. I e-mailed the Bank that same night. The next morning, I received this response:
"Good morning,
In situations such as these, normally a specimen report form is completed and sent back to us for review. Unfortunately these are normally completed by lab technicians at their respective fertility clinics and as this was done at your home, you will not be able to complete it as required.
There would be no compensation or anything in this case, I am sorry.
Regards,"
So, basically, because I chose to home insem, I have no recourse for recompense of any kind. $1000+ wasted on a cycle that never even had a chance. I felt so frustrated, defeated, sorrowful, and angry.
I'm on vacation for my birthday, and after paying the rest of this month's bills this morning, I'm pretty broke. A bit worried that I may have to dip into my savings (aka Spermcicle Fund) to cover rent when I get back home at the end of the week. On top of that, I still have to find a new gynecologist so that I can have a new medical release form signed for the Bank so that I can go forward with another insemination. Between booking that appointment and this month's bills, I may need to skip May and wait until June to try again. I'm so angry right now, but trying to get myself into a better frame of mind so that I can enjoy my time on vacation with my friends, and celebrate my birthday.
Stay tuned...
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
In Which Our Heroine Gives Doctors Pushing IVF All Of Her Very Best Side-eye...
Previously on Selfmade Motherhood Blog...I was extolling the virtues of the US healthcare system and how it is changing lives for the better. I'm just playin'! American healthcare may be better for some people under the ACA, but it's still a total clusterfuck controlled by the insurance companies and Big Pharma. ANYWAYZ....For the first time since moving to New York 12 years ago (okay, okay...technically I'm a Jersey girl now...but for the first time since 2004) I have health insurance in the US. I make that distinction because previous to 2004, I lived in Japan for two years and was covered under the NHS there (before that, I lived in LA and worked at a company that provided my health insurance), and from 2011-2013, I lived in HK and was covered under the NHS there. Don't get too excited though. I have the cheapest plan I could find (not that I could afford, because I can barely afford this one, but the cheapest one I could find) and it's a Bronze level plan with a $3000 deductible and something like $6300 out of pocket yearly cap. So on top of the almost $300 per month premium, every single doctor's visit or procedure or test or whatever is going towards my $3000 deductible, but coming directly out of my pocket (which might not even be so bad if that wasn't taking away from my buy-some-more-frozen-sperm money). Having insurance does have a few advantages (and several very big disadvantages), but we'll get into that as we move on.
So...I went onto my insurance company website to find an RE in my area. There are exactly two RE practices (lots of doctors, but only two practices). So I called and made a new patient appointment with RMANJ (Reproductive Medicine Associates of New Jersey) as they have an office in West Orange and I live in East Orange. Beforehand, through the patient portal online, I had sent them all of my pertinent medical records and my fertility charting highlights in pdf form from my FertilityFriend.com account. I went in on February 17th, their last available appointment, 2pm (because when you charge this much for your services, you can afford to go home at 4pm every day and not work on weekends). It was inconvenient having to miss work, but I managed to get the work baby out and activitied in the morning & the parent who'd worked from home that day took over to feed her lunch and put her down for nap so that I could go.
Moving on....I arrived at almost exactly 2pm and filled out all the new patient paperwork before heading back to talk to Dr. M. in her office. The low-down: The RE & and nurse team seem nice (they pair each RE with a nurse so that you'll always know who to ask for when you call...since the nurse's pretty much do all of patient relations). Dr. M. knows I'm not interested in IVF, but gave me their stats etc. anyway. She went over my medical history and explained all of the preliminary diagnostic tests (which I already knew about). She seemed concerned about my age and that I might have a low follicle count (because that's the thing that they are all programmed to be concerned about, I suppose). She explained all the options as far as natural cycle vs. medicated Clomid cycle vs. medicated injectables cycle (p.s. they use an hcg trigger shot even on natural cycle IUI....I'm not ruling that completely out). Then we went into the exam room where an intake nurse took my vitals....Let me digress for just a second. I'm not a small person. I'm actually at my all-time heaviest weight right now (Hush! I'm working on it. Baby steps...baby steps...), but I take pretty good care of myself. I don't eat meat (haven't since I was about 15), have never been a smoker, rarely if ever consume alcohol, and my work is relatively low stress and makes me happy. So, it's always interesting watching the intake nurse's face while she's trying to reconcile my size, my melanin, and my low-to-normal blood pressure. Coming back to the actual story: Transvaginal ultrasound: FUN! Okay, not really. But it wasn't too uncomfortable once the probe (read: specially outfitted dildo-like device) was in place. Apparently my uterus is lovely and my ovaries are equally lovely. Dr. M. seemed surprised by the antral follicle count (7-8 follicles on each side), but was careful to stress that "they might not all be of good quality because of [my] age." (These IVF people...they really just can't help themselves, can they?) She did notice a fibroid off in a corner somewhere (not on an ovary or obstructing anything) , but said it didn't appear to be bothering anything. That was it!
Then I got dressed and peed in a cup, and talked to a nurse about when to call in to schedule my Day 3 labs (where they check all your ovulation & pregnancy hormones and do and AMH test to check your ovarian reserve - how many eggs you actually have left to work with) and when to schedule the HSG (where they inject dye into your uterus to see if your fallopian tubes are open). At that time, the way my nurse, R., explained how & when all this testing got done, I was under the impression that I'd be able to schedule the HSG on a weekend (it has to be done between cycle days 6-10) since they only do that test at another facility that's about 30 miles away and I didn't want to miss work if it could be avoided. That turned out not to be the case. The bloodwork can be done at my local office, and the lab is open from 6am 7 days a week, so I could do bloodwork any day and never even be late for work. The HSG, done 30 miles away, can only be done Monday to Friday, and only between 8am - 12pm. I didn't find that out until about a week later when I went in for my Day 3 labs though. (more on that later) The RE's office is actually located just across the street from the fancy dine-in movie theatre that has become one of my local favorites for mainstream blockbusters, so instead of going straight home, I decided to walk over and watch Deadpool again. So the day wasn't a total loss.
They gave me a bunch of info in two folders: One about required tests and cycles and options. The other about the financial side of it all. I looked through the financial packet when I got home and nearly lost all hope while looking up the cost of pre-cycle services. The HSG alone was listed at $1075. FSH/LH/Progesterone were $75 each. Plus anothe set of annual screenings that wasn't even listed (thyroid, AMH, STI's, CBC, blood type, etc.). I was nearly paralyzed with fear that anything could possible be wrong with me because, as per my crap insurance and its super high deductible, I was already looking to be out of pocket for all of this up to $3000, and then the insurance would still only pay 50% of the cost after that. I just felt like my insurance was completely useless and the premium was just more money out the window every month that could have been going towards the purchase of spermcicles and shipping. Grrrrr....I hate American healthcare so much.
*sigh....So, after my weird, not-pregnant-but-feeling-pregnant cycle, I had a super weird cycle (flow was different, ovulated earlier than usual, and had only 9 day LP). I called the RE's office on cd1 of my next cycle to schedule the Day 3 labs and the rest of the annual bloodwork screening. I wanted to schedule the HSG, but that's when I found out that the hours were ridiculous and I couldn't take another day off work in such a short span of time. I resigned myself to do the HSG in the following cycle and maybe just go ahead with another home insem if all the bloodwork came back normal. The next day, I talked on the phone with their financial consultant to go over what is and isn't covered by my crap insurance. I told her how concerned I was about the cost of all the prelim testing and she said (you're gonna love this!), the prices they list in the financial packet are out-of-pocket prices WITHOUT AN INSURANCE COMPANY DISCOUNT. What????? Yeah, so apparently if you have insurance, even if your insurance doesn't cover something, the price you get is a discounted price vs. if you're paying out of pocket with no insurance. So the HSG that was listed at $1075 was actually going to be more like $258. This was such a weight off my shoulders! (UPDATE: It took nearly a month to see the actual financials on that, but the insurance discounted price on the HSG did, in fact, turn out to be $268 or something, AND the insurance covered the whole thing and I don't have to pay a dime out of pocket. I think it's because it's all diagnostic and not actual treatment at this point.) But then I was immediately pissed off that insurance companies are completely dominating what the standard of care is for people, since the financial aspect is what keeps a lot of people from seeking treatment in the first place (i.e. why I never saw an RE until five years into my ttc journey because I was uninsured all that time). Anyways....I went in the day after that for the bloodwork. It took two nurses and three tries to find a vein (and the bruise on one of the failed attempts lingered for over a week!). But it was over pretty quickly, and I called an Uber to take me to work and went on with my day. I thought I'd have to wait at least 24 hours to hear anything back, but Nurse R. rang me that afternoon (just as I was trying to hustle my work baby down the block to catch the bus with her by one hand an umbrella in the other, and a sack full of toddler detritus and library books over one shoulder), so admittedly, my attention was a bit divided. She said that my Day 3 labs were all good and within normal range. My FSH was a little high, but just on the higher side of normal...so still within the normal range. The rest of the bloodwork was sent out to another lab, so I should hear back about that in about a week, she said. (I literally never heard a single word or received any phone calls or correspondence about the rest of the bloodwork until I called three or more weeks later to schedule my HSG for the following cycle, btw. Guess I'm fairly healthy and not interested in IVF, so I'm not really at the top of their priority list.)
That was basically all the news there was until my current cycle. Without the financial millstone around my neck (the insurance is stealing all of my spermcicle money, but at least it gives me a discount on diagnostic labs and stuff...), I scheduled the HSG. Unfortunately, I had to take the whole first half of the day off from work to go out there, but it was on a Friday & my work baby mama was planning to work from home anyway; so she ended up taking the whole day off work and the two of them had a fun morning out. My Uber driver was a bit of an idiot...and drove completely in the wrong direction. Twice. My appointment was at 10am and they ask that you arrive 30 minutes early. I got there at 9:55am and had to wait in line to sign in, so I didn't even check in until after 10am. Grrrrr....They were really tight on the schedule though, and as soon as I was signed in, they brought me back to the ultrasound waiting room, and as soon as I arrived there, a nurse gave me a cup to pee in. Right after I handed that off, I was taken to the HSG room.
I undressed from the waist down, and lay down on the exam table with a drape over my lower half. The team came in (different facility, different doctor team), and the doc explained the procedure. They put my legs up on these weird knee stirrups, but they were a bit limited on horizontal movement, and I felt like my legs/hips weren't open enough to get the speculum in comfortably (UNDERSTATEMENT). It didn't help that he used some kind of elephant-sized speculum and it was mad painful just getting it in, let alone adjusted. I was in a lot of pain, so he got a narrower one that felt more like normal going in. Still uncomfortable while he was adjusting it for a better view of my cervix though (the man did not have a gentle touch or comforting bedside manner in the least). More discomfort while he cleared away mucous.
Next was a "pinch" (again, understatement) as he injected two shots of lidocaine into my cervix (not through the os, but into the actual muscle of the cervix) to numb it because they have to "pinch the cervix open in order to insert the metal catheter that they use to inject the dye. Then came the actual dye injection: OH MY GOD IT HURT SO MUCH!!!!! One of the nurses was talking me through it, coaching me on how to breathe through the pressure and pain. It couldn't have lasted for more than a minute, but WHOA! There was "spill out" from my right tube right away (meaning the dye went through the fallopian tube and spilled out into the pocket near the ovary. Then, eventually, spill-out on the left side, too. The doc proclaimed me ALL CLEAR! While he was cleaning me up and waiting for the bleeding to stop (from the lidocaine injection sites on my cervix), I asked if I could take a photo of the image(s) on the screens. He said that once he was done "down there", he'd scroll through the images, explain each one to me, and find the best image for me to photograph with my phone. See?
Then, they all left the room and I got dressed (they gave me two cheapie sanitary pads, but I'd brought my own good ones from home - Yay internet research!). I sat in the waiting area for five minutes and then I was free to go! Done and DONE!
Here's my amateur theory: The two times that I've had a transvaginal ultrasound and seen my ovaries, I've had more follicles on the left than on the right (or the left ones seems to mature faster). The very few times I've ever had any kind of ovulation pain, it's been on the left side as well. I think there may have been some kind of slight blockage on the lefthand tube and the HSG helped to clear it out (which is why it was so painful for me). Hopefully, this helped set the stage for this cycle's successful home IUI attempt and cleared the way for a pregnancy to happen. (fingers crossed!)
Here's the overview: RE's (I'm assuming in general, but at the very least at the one practice that I've visited so far) are really all about IVF and they use all the scare tactics they can to encourage women to take on more aggressive treatments and push for IVF because that's what they do best and how they get paid best. And when they can literally find nothing wrong with you (as in my case, all bloodwork normal and no fallopian blockages), they use the one thing they can't test for to scare you with: Your "advanced age" and your "possibly poor egg quality". There are tests to see how many eggs you have, but there is absolutely now way to know the quality of your eggs, so they go by the woman's age as the only determining factor. And since I'm not keen on IVF and would prefer to do my insems on my own at home if there is no reason to believe that I can't get pregnant, I'm of no interest to them. This was confirmed by RE Nurse R. when we spoke about my HSG results. She wanted to talk about next steps and I said (as I have from the beginning) that if there were no problems found besides my "advanced age", I'd prefer to continue trying home insems. When I asked about the possibility of progesterone support for after my IUI, she said that Dr. M. told her to tell me to get it from my regular OB/GYN....of course, they know that I just moved to Jersey and I don't have one, so if I don't agree to moniter my cycle with the RE's office and submit to any and all of their testing prerequisites, then I'm on my own. As of yet, I've not formulated any plan that will get me progesterone suppositories in time for this cycle's insem, so I'll likely just use the progesterone cream that I still have in the cabinet until I test and go from there...
Stay tuned...
So...I went onto my insurance company website to find an RE in my area. There are exactly two RE practices (lots of doctors, but only two practices). So I called and made a new patient appointment with RMANJ (Reproductive Medicine Associates of New Jersey) as they have an office in West Orange and I live in East Orange. Beforehand, through the patient portal online, I had sent them all of my pertinent medical records and my fertility charting highlights in pdf form from my FertilityFriend.com account. I went in on February 17th, their last available appointment, 2pm (because when you charge this much for your services, you can afford to go home at 4pm every day and not work on weekends). It was inconvenient having to miss work, but I managed to get the work baby out and activitied in the morning & the parent who'd worked from home that day took over to feed her lunch and put her down for nap so that I could go.
Moving on....I arrived at almost exactly 2pm and filled out all the new patient paperwork before heading back to talk to Dr. M. in her office. The low-down: The RE & and nurse team seem nice (they pair each RE with a nurse so that you'll always know who to ask for when you call...since the nurse's pretty much do all of patient relations). Dr. M. knows I'm not interested in IVF, but gave me their stats etc. anyway. She went over my medical history and explained all of the preliminary diagnostic tests (which I already knew about). She seemed concerned about my age and that I might have a low follicle count (because that's the thing that they are all programmed to be concerned about, I suppose). She explained all the options as far as natural cycle vs. medicated Clomid cycle vs. medicated injectables cycle (p.s. they use an hcg trigger shot even on natural cycle IUI....I'm not ruling that completely out). Then we went into the exam room where an intake nurse took my vitals....Let me digress for just a second. I'm not a small person. I'm actually at my all-time heaviest weight right now (Hush! I'm working on it. Baby steps...baby steps...), but I take pretty good care of myself. I don't eat meat (haven't since I was about 15), have never been a smoker, rarely if ever consume alcohol, and my work is relatively low stress and makes me happy. So, it's always interesting watching the intake nurse's face while she's trying to reconcile my size, my melanin, and my low-to-normal blood pressure. Coming back to the actual story: Transvaginal ultrasound: FUN! Okay, not really. But it wasn't too uncomfortable once the probe (read: specially outfitted dildo-like device) was in place. Apparently my uterus is lovely and my ovaries are equally lovely. Dr. M. seemed surprised by the antral follicle count (7-8 follicles on each side), but was careful to stress that "they might not all be of good quality because of [my] age." (These IVF people...they really just can't help themselves, can they?) She did notice a fibroid off in a corner somewhere (not on an ovary or obstructing anything) , but said it didn't appear to be bothering anything. That was it!
Then I got dressed and peed in a cup, and talked to a nurse about when to call in to schedule my Day 3 labs (where they check all your ovulation & pregnancy hormones and do and AMH test to check your ovarian reserve - how many eggs you actually have left to work with) and when to schedule the HSG (where they inject dye into your uterus to see if your fallopian tubes are open). At that time, the way my nurse, R., explained how & when all this testing got done, I was under the impression that I'd be able to schedule the HSG on a weekend (it has to be done between cycle days 6-10) since they only do that test at another facility that's about 30 miles away and I didn't want to miss work if it could be avoided. That turned out not to be the case. The bloodwork can be done at my local office, and the lab is open from 6am 7 days a week, so I could do bloodwork any day and never even be late for work. The HSG, done 30 miles away, can only be done Monday to Friday, and only between 8am - 12pm. I didn't find that out until about a week later when I went in for my Day 3 labs though. (more on that later) The RE's office is actually located just across the street from the fancy dine-in movie theatre that has become one of my local favorites for mainstream blockbusters, so instead of going straight home, I decided to walk over and watch Deadpool again. So the day wasn't a total loss.
They gave me a bunch of info in two folders: One about required tests and cycles and options. The other about the financial side of it all. I looked through the financial packet when I got home and nearly lost all hope while looking up the cost of pre-cycle services. The HSG alone was listed at $1075. FSH/LH/Progesterone were $75 each. Plus anothe set of annual screenings that wasn't even listed (thyroid, AMH, STI's, CBC, blood type, etc.). I was nearly paralyzed with fear that anything could possible be wrong with me because, as per my crap insurance and its super high deductible, I was already looking to be out of pocket for all of this up to $3000, and then the insurance would still only pay 50% of the cost after that. I just felt like my insurance was completely useless and the premium was just more money out the window every month that could have been going towards the purchase of spermcicles and shipping. Grrrrr....I hate American healthcare so much.
*sigh....So, after my weird, not-pregnant-but-feeling-pregnant cycle, I had a super weird cycle (flow was different, ovulated earlier than usual, and had only 9 day LP). I called the RE's office on cd1 of my next cycle to schedule the Day 3 labs and the rest of the annual bloodwork screening. I wanted to schedule the HSG, but that's when I found out that the hours were ridiculous and I couldn't take another day off work in such a short span of time. I resigned myself to do the HSG in the following cycle and maybe just go ahead with another home insem if all the bloodwork came back normal. The next day, I talked on the phone with their financial consultant to go over what is and isn't covered by my crap insurance. I told her how concerned I was about the cost of all the prelim testing and she said (you're gonna love this!), the prices they list in the financial packet are out-of-pocket prices WITHOUT AN INSURANCE COMPANY DISCOUNT. What????? Yeah, so apparently if you have insurance, even if your insurance doesn't cover something, the price you get is a discounted price vs. if you're paying out of pocket with no insurance. So the HSG that was listed at $1075 was actually going to be more like $258. This was such a weight off my shoulders! (UPDATE: It took nearly a month to see the actual financials on that, but the insurance discounted price on the HSG did, in fact, turn out to be $268 or something, AND the insurance covered the whole thing and I don't have to pay a dime out of pocket. I think it's because it's all diagnostic and not actual treatment at this point.) But then I was immediately pissed off that insurance companies are completely dominating what the standard of care is for people, since the financial aspect is what keeps a lot of people from seeking treatment in the first place (i.e. why I never saw an RE until five years into my ttc journey because I was uninsured all that time). Anyways....I went in the day after that for the bloodwork. It took two nurses and three tries to find a vein (and the bruise on one of the failed attempts lingered for over a week!). But it was over pretty quickly, and I called an Uber to take me to work and went on with my day. I thought I'd have to wait at least 24 hours to hear anything back, but Nurse R. rang me that afternoon (just as I was trying to hustle my work baby down the block to catch the bus with her by one hand an umbrella in the other, and a sack full of toddler detritus and library books over one shoulder), so admittedly, my attention was a bit divided. She said that my Day 3 labs were all good and within normal range. My FSH was a little high, but just on the higher side of normal...so still within the normal range. The rest of the bloodwork was sent out to another lab, so I should hear back about that in about a week, she said. (I literally never heard a single word or received any phone calls or correspondence about the rest of the bloodwork until I called three or more weeks later to schedule my HSG for the following cycle, btw. Guess I'm fairly healthy and not interested in IVF, so I'm not really at the top of their priority list.)
That was basically all the news there was until my current cycle. Without the financial millstone around my neck (the insurance is stealing all of my spermcicle money, but at least it gives me a discount on diagnostic labs and stuff...), I scheduled the HSG. Unfortunately, I had to take the whole first half of the day off from work to go out there, but it was on a Friday & my work baby mama was planning to work from home anyway; so she ended up taking the whole day off work and the two of them had a fun morning out. My Uber driver was a bit of an idiot...and drove completely in the wrong direction. Twice. My appointment was at 10am and they ask that you arrive 30 minutes early. I got there at 9:55am and had to wait in line to sign in, so I didn't even check in until after 10am. Grrrrr....They were really tight on the schedule though, and as soon as I was signed in, they brought me back to the ultrasound waiting room, and as soon as I arrived there, a nurse gave me a cup to pee in. Right after I handed that off, I was taken to the HSG room.
I undressed from the waist down, and lay down on the exam table with a drape over my lower half. The team came in (different facility, different doctor team), and the doc explained the procedure. They put my legs up on these weird knee stirrups, but they were a bit limited on horizontal movement, and I felt like my legs/hips weren't open enough to get the speculum in comfortably (UNDERSTATEMENT). It didn't help that he used some kind of elephant-sized speculum and it was mad painful just getting it in, let alone adjusted. I was in a lot of pain, so he got a narrower one that felt more like normal going in. Still uncomfortable while he was adjusting it for a better view of my cervix though (the man did not have a gentle touch or comforting bedside manner in the least). More discomfort while he cleared away mucous.
Next was a "pinch" (again, understatement) as he injected two shots of lidocaine into my cervix (not through the os, but into the actual muscle of the cervix) to numb it because they have to "pinch the cervix open in order to insert the metal catheter that they use to inject the dye. Then came the actual dye injection: OH MY GOD IT HURT SO MUCH!!!!! One of the nurses was talking me through it, coaching me on how to breathe through the pressure and pain. It couldn't have lasted for more than a minute, but WHOA! There was "spill out" from my right tube right away (meaning the dye went through the fallopian tube and spilled out into the pocket near the ovary. Then, eventually, spill-out on the left side, too. The doc proclaimed me ALL CLEAR! While he was cleaning me up and waiting for the bleeding to stop (from the lidocaine injection sites on my cervix), I asked if I could take a photo of the image(s) on the screens. He said that once he was done "down there", he'd scroll through the images, explain each one to me, and find the best image for me to photograph with my phone. See?
 |
| (click to enlarge) You can see my pelvis, the speculum in place, & the catheter that injected the dye. The middle is my uterus, the roundish sacks on either side are the spaces around my ovaries to where the dye spilled out. |
Then, they all left the room and I got dressed (they gave me two cheapie sanitary pads, but I'd brought my own good ones from home - Yay internet research!). I sat in the waiting area for five minutes and then I was free to go! Done and DONE!
Here's my amateur theory: The two times that I've had a transvaginal ultrasound and seen my ovaries, I've had more follicles on the left than on the right (or the left ones seems to mature faster). The very few times I've ever had any kind of ovulation pain, it's been on the left side as well. I think there may have been some kind of slight blockage on the lefthand tube and the HSG helped to clear it out (which is why it was so painful for me). Hopefully, this helped set the stage for this cycle's successful home IUI attempt and cleared the way for a pregnancy to happen. (fingers crossed!)
Here's the overview: RE's (I'm assuming in general, but at the very least at the one practice that I've visited so far) are really all about IVF and they use all the scare tactics they can to encourage women to take on more aggressive treatments and push for IVF because that's what they do best and how they get paid best. And when they can literally find nothing wrong with you (as in my case, all bloodwork normal and no fallopian blockages), they use the one thing they can't test for to scare you with: Your "advanced age" and your "possibly poor egg quality". There are tests to see how many eggs you have, but there is absolutely now way to know the quality of your eggs, so they go by the woman's age as the only determining factor. And since I'm not keen on IVF and would prefer to do my insems on my own at home if there is no reason to believe that I can't get pregnant, I'm of no interest to them. This was confirmed by RE Nurse R. when we spoke about my HSG results. She wanted to talk about next steps and I said (as I have from the beginning) that if there were no problems found besides my "advanced age", I'd prefer to continue trying home insems. When I asked about the possibility of progesterone support for after my IUI, she said that Dr. M. told her to tell me to get it from my regular OB/GYN....of course, they know that I just moved to Jersey and I don't have one, so if I don't agree to moniter my cycle with the RE's office and submit to any and all of their testing prerequisites, then I'm on my own. As of yet, I've not formulated any plan that will get me progesterone suppositories in time for this cycle's insem, so I'll likely just use the progesterone cream that I still have in the cabinet until I test and go from there...
Stay tuned...
Sunday, March 27, 2016
*sigh...
Previously on Selfmade Motherhood Blog....Our hero freaked out about some weird OPK results, but eventually settled down and did another home IUI. The two-week wait was so weird this time around! I decided to apply OTC progesterone cream a few times a day (totaling about 360mg), in an effort to support my LP and give any fertilized thing in there a chance to stick around. I was legit nauseous from 3dpo onward. It happened first at work. I'd eaten breakfast (oatmeal, as usual) with my work baby, but then I got all....weird. Like my stomach was unsettled. I wasn't sure what it was, but I figured it would pass. But it didn't. It was starting to get a little work, in fact. I finally identified it as nausea and ate a small piece of candied ginger (because I keep a stash of random teas and candied ginger at work), and felt better almost immediately. This happened almost every time I ate anything for the next 8 or 9 days. So, that was new. On top of that, 8dpo rolled around, and my boobs weren't sore and pms-ish like they usually are. Then came 9dpo. Still no sore boobs. I decided to test. I mean, I was getting nauseous and dizzy AND my boobs didn't hurt in the slightest???? Could this be it????? Nope. Not according to my 9dpo pregnancy test anyway. I tested again at 11dpo, and 13dpo. Both negative, but I didn't want to give up hope. After all, my cycle pretty much never gets past 11dpo, not even using the progesterone cream during my "shutdown". But then on 13dpo, I started cramping in the evening. Then I spotted something brown around 9:30pm. I knew this could spell the beginning of the end, but it still wasn't full-on bleeding, and I didn't spot anymore that night.
By the next morning, however, I definitely was doing more than spotting. The cramps came after that. Not horrible and debilitating as per my usual though. I strapped on a heating pad and went about my business. I didn't medicate until I got home from work later that evening.
So, no pregnancy, but I swear this is the strangest and most pregnant I've ever felt (based on my previous ttc experiences of wondering if all of my pms symptoms might actually be early pregnancy symptoms - SPOILER ALERT: They weren't. Not once. Not ever so far. - and the lack of all of my usual pms symptoms made me really think/feel like this might be it) . The "symptoms" were just all so completely out of the ordinary for me. I really didn't know what to make of it all. Except no impending baby. So, yeah....pretty bummed out.
My brand new shiny (Bronze level - read: crappy, not that great) health insurance had just kicked in though, and I decided to make an appointment with the closest RE's (reproductive endocrinologist) office that accepted my insurance. I booked an appointment for Wednesday, February 17th. At this point, I have no idea what anything was going to cost or what would or would not be covered by my insurance. And I realize I haven't been going hard on the ttc front every single month for the past five years (six if you count when I started charting to figure all my lady business out). So, it's been five years since my first sperm bank purchase and home insem ttc experience, but I've also only made actual ttc attempts for eight out of maybe 65 or more cycles. So, my journey hasn't been as intense emotionally and physically as a lot of other people's, but....You know what? I'm gonna make this into a new post. This was my "Hi, Still Not Pregnant!" post and I'm going to give that post the space it needs and deserves. I will move on to the next conversation on the next post and we can discuss what all is going on with my lady business.
Stay tuned...
By the next morning, however, I definitely was doing more than spotting. The cramps came after that. Not horrible and debilitating as per my usual though. I strapped on a heating pad and went about my business. I didn't medicate until I got home from work later that evening.
So, no pregnancy, but I swear this is the strangest and most pregnant I've ever felt (based on my previous ttc experiences of wondering if all of my pms symptoms might actually be early pregnancy symptoms - SPOILER ALERT: They weren't. Not once. Not ever so far. - and the lack of all of my usual pms symptoms made me really think/feel like this might be it) . The "symptoms" were just all so completely out of the ordinary for me. I really didn't know what to make of it all. Except no impending baby. So, yeah....pretty bummed out.
My brand new shiny (Bronze level - read: crappy, not that great) health insurance had just kicked in though, and I decided to make an appointment with the closest RE's (reproductive endocrinologist) office that accepted my insurance. I booked an appointment for Wednesday, February 17th. At this point, I have no idea what anything was going to cost or what would or would not be covered by my insurance. And I realize I haven't been going hard on the ttc front every single month for the past five years (six if you count when I started charting to figure all my lady business out). So, it's been five years since my first sperm bank purchase and home insem ttc experience, but I've also only made actual ttc attempts for eight out of maybe 65 or more cycles. So, my journey hasn't been as intense emotionally and physically as a lot of other people's, but....You know what? I'm gonna make this into a new post. This was my "Hi, Still Not Pregnant!" post and I'm going to give that post the space it needs and deserves. I will move on to the next conversation on the next post and we can discuss what all is going on with my lady business.
Stay tuned...
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Home Insemination: For When Your Life Just Isn't Insane Enough Already...
Last time on Selfmade Motherhood Blog....The Tardis arrived (WHAT THE FUCK???). That was "fun". Shortly thereafter, it was time for me to start peeing on things (OPK's). I did my usual, starting on CD9, expecting to get a + some time on CD12 for a CD13 ovulation. I usually pee in a cup & dip in a midstream OPK & a Clearblue Digital (aka CBD), or balance peeing on them both at the same time when I'm not at home. The idea is to give the digital test a baseline reading so that it will be able to more accurately detect my LH surge, and to be able to see right away any changes in test line intensity on the midstream test. That was going fine until....I was testing during the work day on CD11. Hadn't gotten a positive digital all day and the midstreams were only showing a faint test line. My last test of the day was at 2:40pm. I was going to test again around 5:30pm, but I skipped it and decided I'd test at 11pm, before going to bed. Then I fell asleep watching tv in the living room and woke up at almost 5:30am. Freaking out because I always test so much so that I can pinpoint the LH surge and more accurately time my insem (I try to get as close to 30 hours after the first OPK+ digital as possible), I ran and peed in a cup and dipped the digital and midstream tests. Midstream was an unequivocal positive with two dark lines. Digital pulled up a smiley face. That's when I went into an even more high frequency freak out mode. If my last OPK at 2:40pm was resounding negatives, and my latest test at 5:30am was hyper positive, how could I gauge when my actual surge happened? Urrrgggghhhhh!!!!
Note: Stepped away from updating....for about two months. Aaaaanyways....as I was saying: I pulled up super positive OPK's at 5:30am on CD12, but couldn't pinpoint exactly when my LH surge occurred because I'd fallen asleep and ought to have tested about twelve hours earlier. I decided to go back to bed for another hour or so (this time in my bed) before getting ready for work and test again in a few hours with not-first-morning urine (I thought the fact that I'd had what equated to a sleep cycle and then OPK'd may have given me a false positive). I OPK'd again at 8:30am. This time with conflicting results: Two dark lines (positive) and NO smiley face on the digital. WTF??? If my freak-out-fest wasn't already in high gear....Weeeeeeeeee! I went to work and continued to test throughout the day. Finally, at the end of the day getting positive after positive midstream test paired with negative after negative digital tests, I pulled up a midstream test with a test line that looked like it might be starting to fade. I decided to go ahead and do the insem right then.
I broke out the Tardis and started the thawing process. I'd bought a mini microscope that connects to a cell phone camera to give up to 200x magnification. I thought it would be perfect for getting a closer look at my thawed swimmers and easier capturing a photo or video of it than pressing the lens of the phone up against the little 60x magnification ferning microscope (while also keeping the light button on the scope pressed so everything is visible). This damn cell phone scope wasn't worth a damn thing! I could get the damn thing to focus on everything BUT my sperm sample....*grumble-grumble*. I ended up doing the same old same old with the ferning microscope and my cell phone camera. I could still see everyone swimming, but I was disappointed that I'd spent the money tryna be fancy. Moving on! I went for the proper IUI again. I was worried that I might get some spillage of the sample out of the cervix, but the new set of syringes with "professional IUI catheters" did the trick! The uppermost part of the uterus is about 4cm in past the opening of the cervix. These catheters actually have a little stopper around 4cm down the length which helps accomplish two things: 1. You know that you've inserted the catheter far enough, but not too far. 2. There's no spillage because the stopper plugs the os (cervical opening). I was still a little concerned that there might be some spillage after I removed the catheter though, so I very lightly, gently squeezed my cervix shut with a long pair of smooth-tipped sponge forceps as I removed the catheter (it sounds awful, but I swear it didn't hurt at all. In fact, I could barely feel it & kept checking in the mirror to make sure I was still holding it in the right position). I stayed in that position for about 5 minutes or so, then inserted an Instead cup lined with a little PreSeed (just in case of spillage...I know. I'm paranoid.), and lay down with my knees to my chest while watching some Netflix for a bit before going to bed. The insem was complete by 12:29am (just after midnight on CD13). I got up and went about my day as usual, removing the Instead cup around 9:30am. Then all I had to do was wait!
More to come in the next installment. Stay tuned!
Note: Stepped away from updating....for about two months. Aaaaanyways....as I was saying: I pulled up super positive OPK's at 5:30am on CD12, but couldn't pinpoint exactly when my LH surge occurred because I'd fallen asleep and ought to have tested about twelve hours earlier. I decided to go back to bed for another hour or so (this time in my bed) before getting ready for work and test again in a few hours with not-first-morning urine (I thought the fact that I'd had what equated to a sleep cycle and then OPK'd may have given me a false positive). I OPK'd again at 8:30am. This time with conflicting results: Two dark lines (positive) and NO smiley face on the digital. WTF??? If my freak-out-fest wasn't already in high gear....Weeeeeeeeee! I went to work and continued to test throughout the day. Finally, at the end of the day getting positive after positive midstream test paired with negative after negative digital tests, I pulled up a midstream test with a test line that looked like it might be starting to fade. I decided to go ahead and do the insem right then.
I broke out the Tardis and started the thawing process. I'd bought a mini microscope that connects to a cell phone camera to give up to 200x magnification. I thought it would be perfect for getting a closer look at my thawed swimmers and easier capturing a photo or video of it than pressing the lens of the phone up against the little 60x magnification ferning microscope (while also keeping the light button on the scope pressed so everything is visible). This damn cell phone scope wasn't worth a damn thing! I could get the damn thing to focus on everything BUT my sperm sample....*grumble-grumble*. I ended up doing the same old same old with the ferning microscope and my cell phone camera. I could still see everyone swimming, but I was disappointed that I'd spent the money tryna be fancy. Moving on! I went for the proper IUI again. I was worried that I might get some spillage of the sample out of the cervix, but the new set of syringes with "professional IUI catheters" did the trick! The uppermost part of the uterus is about 4cm in past the opening of the cervix. These catheters actually have a little stopper around 4cm down the length which helps accomplish two things: 1. You know that you've inserted the catheter far enough, but not too far. 2. There's no spillage because the stopper plugs the os (cervical opening). I was still a little concerned that there might be some spillage after I removed the catheter though, so I very lightly, gently squeezed my cervix shut with a long pair of smooth-tipped sponge forceps as I removed the catheter (it sounds awful, but I swear it didn't hurt at all. In fact, I could barely feel it & kept checking in the mirror to make sure I was still holding it in the right position). I stayed in that position for about 5 minutes or so, then inserted an Instead cup lined with a little PreSeed (just in case of spillage...I know. I'm paranoid.), and lay down with my knees to my chest while watching some Netflix for a bit before going to bed. The insem was complete by 12:29am (just after midnight on CD13). I got up and went about my day as usual, removing the Instead cup around 9:30am. Then all I had to do was wait!
More to come in the next installment. Stay tuned!
Friday, January 15, 2016
The Tardis
You guys...YOU GAIIIS!!! Okay, so for those that don't know, when you order sperm from a bank and have it sent to your home, they generally send the cryotank with your spermcicles in a reinforced cardboard box. Some banks' labeling is more discreet than others. For instance, when I used to order from Pacific Reproductive Services in California, the box had a THIS END UP sticker and PRS stamped on the sides. By contrast, my Manhattan CryoBank boxes have always had Manhattan CryoBank in large print on two sides of the box. Not the best, but not the worst....until.....until I got home from work tonight and went to the front desk to pick up my box-o-sperm. Holy Shit! What?????
Ladies and....well, probably more ladies...I present to you The Tardis!!!
This box is about as discreet as the town crier. The only way it could be less discreet would be if they slipped a note under every apartment door in my building and posted large-print announcements next to the elevators on every floor. I was legit a little afraid to even open it to check the donor number on the vial because I was worried that The Doctor might reach out and pull me into a parallel universe. It's bloody ginormous. And HEAVY. *sigh* So much for keeping it private. Now anxiously anticipating the look I'm going to get when I drop it at the front desk for FedEx to pick it back up next week...*fun*
Anyhoo....as can be surmised by the arrival of The Tardis, I am going forward for home insem this cycle. I'm expecting to ovulate on Wednesday, so the insem could be Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on what day and time I get my first OPK+. I shall keep you abreast of any further developments.
Stay tuned....
Ladies and....well, probably more ladies...I present to you The Tardis!!!
This box is about as discreet as the town crier. The only way it could be less discreet would be if they slipped a note under every apartment door in my building and posted large-print announcements next to the elevators on every floor. I was legit a little afraid to even open it to check the donor number on the vial because I was worried that The Doctor might reach out and pull me into a parallel universe. It's bloody ginormous. And HEAVY. *sigh* So much for keeping it private. Now anxiously anticipating the look I'm going to get when I drop it at the front desk for FedEx to pick it back up next week...*fun*
Anyhoo....as can be surmised by the arrival of The Tardis, I am going forward for home insem this cycle. I'm expecting to ovulate on Wednesday, so the insem could be Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on what day and time I get my first OPK+. I shall keep you abreast of any further developments.
Stay tuned....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)