A Confluence of Events

Last time on Self-made Motherhood Blog (last time that wasn't about Reverb anyway):

Our heroine was in Hong Kong frantically making international phone calls trying to get absolutely everything ready for baby making Stateside. Phone calls to Planned Parenthood on an every three days basis trying to get them to fax my pelvic exam and STI records over to the midwives at AICGB in Arlington. Them insisting that they'd already faxed it, that they think they already faxed it, and that even if they haven't already faxed it the woman authorized to access the records and fax it won't be in until Friday. It's just my one and only chance to get pregnant for the next one to two years or so. No pressure. Take your time.

Phone calls to AICGB to make sure that they received my records from Planned Parenthood (SPOILER ALERT: They didn't).

Internet ordering of OPK's and EPT's to be delivered to my Auntie's house (where I stay when I'm in the Boston area visiting family). Internet ordering of various other things that I can't get in HK so I'll be able to take it back with me when I return (hello Black hair products!!!).

General obsessing over my cycle and praying that the international time-zone jumping travel doesn't mess with things and make me ovulate too early (i.e. before I have my consult with the midwives and get cleared for insemination).

This obsessing didn't stop when I left for the airport in HK. Nooooo...I was sitting in the boarding area for my flight to Boston via New Jersey...on the phone with the clinic where I had my most recent pap done (thanks to a weird but very timely Groupon HK - it also came with LH, FSH, & Prolactin levels, a breast ultrasound, and a pelvic ultrasound. seriously.). I think the girl who answers the phones has really good English, but she's also used to fielding a very few specific questions that have a limited number of possible responses. I kept asking if she could fax the results (which came in a week earlier than I thought they would) over to my doctor. She kept insisting that I had to come in to the office to discuss the findings with the doctor (though she did stress that everything was normal. no reason for alarm). Finally, when I was just about to lose my mind, she said, "Or maybe I could fax?" I swear, I think she just didn't understand me when I'd said it before. Also, I think part of me coming in to the office is that I got such a good deal with the Groupon that they have to make their money back somehow. Namely come in to the office so we can charge you more money for a quick visit than you paid for your Groupon in the first place. Pass. Anyway, after some more Engrish phone hijinks, it was determined that she could not fax it to my doctor because it was a US number and she can only fax to HK. Whatever, I got on the plane and tried to not think about getting knocked up while soaking up 14.5 hours of in-flight movie and television choices. Mostly I succeeded. Once or twice I may have paused between films to meditate on not ovulating early and take a short nap. I tried very hard not to sleep too much so that it'd be easier for me to acclimate to the local time zone once I landed.

Fourth time this year that I've flown without the children. It was quite heavenly and if things work out the way I want them to, the last time that I'll fly without one or more children for a very, very long while.

Naturally, upon landing in Boston and being taken from the airport to my Auntie's house by my father (who is lovely but not in on the fact that I'm trying to get knocked up for Christmas), I entered the house, hugged my Auntie, set up my laptop and got an e-fax number with an HK country code and called the Groupon HK clinic back (it was night time in Boston, but midday in HK). My test results were faxed directly to my e-mail within five minutes. And then...blissful slumber.

Had to get up early for my first consult with the midwives the next morning.

More to come...